Down Low Thug Confessions

Passenger Side View

It was good to see an old face. I'm glad everything seems to be going well after I left. Although I left I still worried about everyone, Xavier and my mom too. That's just me, although they hurt me the most. I'm just glad no one else's lives were effected by my choice.

For most of the car ride I sat and stared out the window trying to remember if I remember anything. Oddly, Jordan has been fairly quiet the whole ride. " You got something on your mind, man?" I asked. It seemed to snap him out of his trance because he looked over at me and smiled.

" Nah. Its just that I would've never thought I would be able to get the chance to see you again. Y'know? It seems almost unreal. I don't know nigga. You had a bunch of us heart broken. Your ass just up and disappeared. I mean honestly out of all of us you took care of most of us when you didn't have anyone to take care of you. ", He chuckled and shook his head. He then looked back at me for a second and back at the road. " You're strong man. I don't know how you do it, but you do. Now that I know you're still alive, I'm not letting you slip through my fingers again." He glanced over at me again.

His words seemed to have a hidden meaning behind them. It might just be me looking to much into it. To think I didn't realize the effect I had on everyone else because of my decision. They were my niggas. They were more my family then my own mother was. It was hard leaving them, but I would've they moved on and kept grinding. That's what happens in life, right?

I put my hand on his shoulder. " I'm sorry lil nigga. I got you from here on out." I put my fist to my heart and nodded my head to him. It was our sign back in the day for a promise. We never swore or did some dumb ass rituals. I guess it was us being kids back then. Everyone knows how serious moments like these are.

Jordan somehow moved us to the shoulder of the road without me noticing. By the time i figured we stopped moving, he unbuckled his seat belt, grabbed my hand and pulled me over to his side pecking my lips and moving my hand to his man hood. " A nigga ain't little no more " he smirked at me and licked his lips. My ass was taken aback by how bold this negro is. It made me think differently about him and then I realized what was happening and jumped back.

" W-what you doing? ", I can't be doing this with him. He was like my little brother. That and I'm in some unofficial relationship with Lewis. " I can't do it. Not with you ", I shook my head and looked at him. His face completely changed.

" What you mean, not with me? You were okay with it back then with Xavier. What's the problem now?"

I started shaking. " Unlock the fucking car. " The fact this nigga had the audacity to bring that situation up was down right disrespectful. And I'm going to guess he doesn't know the full story besides the fact we messed around.

" Let me out this fucking car Jordan. " I sat there and glared at him. He reached over and tried to touch me, but I moved and smacked his hand away. " Don't try to touch me. I can tell your ass don't know enough to understand how what you just said affects me. "

He started rubbing his face and sighing. " Look. I'm sorry. Don't leave, please? There's people that want to see you. Just keep riding with me, okay? " It took everything out of me not to smash this niggas face in but I'll tolerate him.

I sucked my teeth and nodded. He smiled and put the the car back into drive and started pulling off. I sat back and started looking out the window. I swear every time something good happens, something somehow finds a way to fuck it up. Life just needs to chill for once and let shit be.

For the rest of the ride me and Jordan didn't say anything to each other. I did notice he kept looking out of the corner of his eye. I guess to figure out if he wants to attempt another move or not. I would just shake my head and mentally chuckle. He never knew how to do the right things with people.