Down Low Thug Confessions

Sex louder than words?

I looked up at Lewis and seeing how sexy he was. These moments here, right before we initiate this heat between us, allow me to just be in awe of him. I honestly want to break my barriers down for him, but I don't feel as if it's the right time yet. I need to be assured that he won't be another Xavier.

I focused my attention back on Lewis's face. I guess I spaced out because he was staring at me intently and it was creeping me out. " What? " , I said snapping him out of his stare. He shook his head, lowered himself on top of me and positioned his mouth near my ear. " What did I tell you about addressing me and why won't you open up at all? ". I sighed and looked at him out the corner of my eye. " I've lost all trust for people years ago. I adapted to what was life. Beside those points, all you want to do is fuck. Isn't that why you're here? To showcase your dominance over me and then leave? " I shrugged.

He started to laugh which caught me off guard. " You're trying to push me away. It was a good attempt, but it isn't going to work. ", he grabbed one of my hands and kissed my knuckles. " You see, I'm not trying to showcase my dominance to anyone. I just want to make love, not fuck, to that beautiful ass body of yours. Granted, that sounds like I'm just using you, but that isn't my reason. I wanted to show you how sexy you are to me. ", he moved my head so I was facing him now, " Jamal, I'm not the enemy and I'm not planning on being a memory either. I want to be in your life, but in order for me to do that I have to break down whatever barrier you have to block me and everyone else. "

This was my turn to laugh. " You have a long way to go then. ", I half smiled. Lewis's words seemed so similar to Xavier's, but I still can't seem to compare the two. I just hope I won't be thrown into the same shit.

I heard Lewis chuckling and noticed he moved from beside me to hovering on top of me again. " You got to have more faith in me baby. It seems like you're going to make it even harder for me to get through to you know that you know I want to. Give a nigga a chance. ", he pecked my lips which caused me smile. " You're cheesy as hell motherfucker. Are you trying to make me soft so you can make love to me? ". He smirked, " Nah nigga. That would've been a good plan, but I really just wanted to talk. Don't think your ass slick for not addressing me as daddy like I asked. You going to catch something. ". I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes.

" Aye! ", he smacked and gripped my ass which caused a moan to escape my lips. He smirked, " That's what daddy likes to hear. ". I shook my head. I applaud this nigga for following through and just wanting to talk. I might be wrong about my assumption and it just being about sex to him.

For the rest of that night we just talked. A few sexual gestures here and there, but that's expected. I honestly missed this, just talking to someone and not having to filter what I say.

~~~

The next morning, since I didn't have school, I decided to cook breakfast. It's been a quick minute since I've been behind a stove and cooked something.

I opened the fridge and saw that I didn't go grocery shopping. " Great. Very convenient. " I sighed to myself and walked back into my room to see Lewis still knocked out. It was fucking ten in the morning and this nigga still sleep. I shook my head and got dressed, then headed out.

The walk wasn't bad. I got the chance to see what was around me. Honestly, I never really walked and payed attention to my surroundings. I had a place to be and that's usually all I focused on. I saw this car pull up next to me and I instantly got on guard.

Whoever was in the drivers seat pulled their window down and peeked out. " Jamal is that you? ", someone gasped. I glanced inside the car to match the voice to a face. " It's Jordan negro. I know you know who the fuck I am. ", the person said. " Jordan who? I know plenty of Jordan's. " I stated. " Jordan. High school buddy Jordan, out cast Jordan, scrawny Jordan. ", he huffed out.

I couldn't believe it. I had to peak in the car again to see if I wasn't dreaming. " Jordan! ", I walked up to the car cheesing hard as hell. " Nigga, I almost ain't even recognize you. You looking good man. ", I dapped him up and kept smiling. " How you been man? ", he asked concerned, " I heard what happened between you and your mom. It was like you were there and then gone. I ain't seen you in 2 years. A call could've been okay. ", I sighed. " Yeah man. ", I rubbed the back of my head, " I'm sorry. ", I shot him a smile and he just shook his head.

" Get in the car bitch. I got to show you some people. ", he laughed. " Aye, nigga! Watch that bitch word or I might have to beat your ass. ". He raised his hands in surrender and kept laughing. I missed this negro and I'm glad I got to see him again. I got in the car and sat in the passenger seat letting Jordan take me to whoever.

~~~

Wattpad kept deleting my drafts and I've been struggling to remember what I wrote months ago. This is the end product. I lot shorter then I would like it, but I know a lot of my readers were anxious for an update.