brain cancer fic》jerrie version

o n e

It starts with the headaches.

Which isn't so unusual, really - they're on break, technically, but it's still weeks on end of being shuttled from one place to another with interviewers gabbing in their ears, repeating the same goddamned questions over and over and fucking over and it's so exhausting Perrie thinks she might explode if one more person asks how her relationship is going.

Fine, she answers. Great, even. It really is. Just not with Zayn.

They don't need to know that, though.

And they don't, but they still keep asking, and three weeks into promo Perrie truly feels like her head is going to explode, like her brain is pulsing right against her skull. It's horrible and no matter how many cigarettes she smokes or pain pills and glasses of water and tea she swallows it doesn't let up; the pain subsides some but never truly goes away.

It's frustrating, but not alarming. Not yet.

Home, Perrie thinks. Home. She just can't wait to get home, where she can kick off her jeans and curl up under the covers and close her eyes and sleep for an hour or maybe ten until her brain is fully rested and not feeling like it's about to bust through her skull. But for now she's trapped in the back of a car with Jade and a driver who apparently doesn't understand that silence is golden.

If she were in a better mood, Perrie might just engage her in conversation, talking excitedly and laughing at her poor excuses for jokes but right now she's just not in the mood, and Jade notices. Of course she does.Jade notices everything.

"Your head again, hm?" Jade mumbles, lips pressed to Perrie's temple. Perrie just nods weakly, making a soft whining noise and cuddling into Jade's side. Her head is still throbbing, but with her face buried in Jade's stupid, expensive parka, it's a little better because all she can smell is Jade, all warm and familiar and home. God, she can't wait to get home.

****

They arrive at their flat just as Perrie has started dozing. Jade thanks the driver, quick and polite - always so professional, she is - before looping a hand over Perrie's shoulder and tugging her towards the door, urging her to be quick. Nobody knows where this flat is, but there's always been the chance of someone catching sight of them and following them home. Their drivers are usually good about making sure they aren't followed, looping around the neighborhood until any hangers-on are hopelessly confused, but Jade likes to be sure, anyway.

Perrie toes off her shoes as soon as she's through the front door, making a beeline for the couch and burying her face in a terribly tacky and uncomfortable decorative pillow. She feels the couch dip slightly under Jade's weight as she sits down next to her, warm hand on her back, smoothing down her shirt and Perrie feels all the tension leave her body, turning to give Jade a grateful smile.

Jade grins back, all dimples and teeth, patting her lap invitingly and Perrie loves her so much she could die as she crawls over and rests her head in Jade's warm lap. Jade's hands are on her before she's even gotten settled, fingers stroking through her hair and scratching her scalp lightly. Perrie hums appreciatively, nuzzling into Jade's hand.

"Good, boo?" Jade asks gently, fingers pressing lightly on her temple and Perrie manages a soft uh-huh before she drifts off, wrapped up in Jade's touch and scent and it almost scares her to think she'll never be as happy as she is when she's in Jade's arms.

****

When she wakes up, the sky outside the window is dark, her head is still in Jade's lap, The Notebook is playing on the television, and she has to puke.