When The World Fails You

When The World Fails You Part 16

“She’s not dead.” I said. “She just work for you anymore.”

“I’m alone in that house,” Madison’s arms drop but she still leans against me. “You know how lonely it is?”

Her voice makes me laugh. I push her up straight for a moment to turn around and get us shirts. It was a lot more challenging with the light off.

I feel her touch my back. I stop looking for the shirts when I feel her kiss me.

We stay like that for awhile. I can hear my family out there, being loud like usual. I can hear my moms laughter…it sounds rare. I can hear Madison’s slow breathing, taking in my scent. I can’t help it anymore.

I turn to her, pick her up, and lay her on the bed. She follows, willingly. I feel her, all of her. She feels amazing, her touching is intoxicating. I’m against her, trying to make a decision about taking off her shorts. I want to, fuck, I seriously do, but she’s still drunk and I’m sober with a conscious. Restraining myself from her seems like more than a challenge. I locked my lips with hers until I couldn’t breath anymore. I want more of her…

It takes all my energy and strength to pull away. I sit up on the bed and breathe hard.

She sits up. “What? What’s wrong?”

I shake my head even though I don’t think she can see me. “Your still drunk. I can’t do that.”

She doesn’t say anything. I feel her move towards me. She sits next to me on the bed and slumps. “Good call.”

“Why are you in love with me Madison?” I ask her. “I’m not good for you. I’m not even good for myself.”

“You are,” She says, her voice low. “You’re a lot more better than your making yourself out to be…You have passion…I don’t know Ray…I didn’t ask to be in love with you…I just am.”

I rub my neck. “I’m sorry you are Madison.”

I feel her stop moving. Then, she takes in a long breath and nods. “Right. Maybe I should go home.”

“No, you need some food in you first.” I get up and grab the shirts. I help her put on hers then put mine on. We walk out and I keep a steady hand on her.

The kitchen is packed with teenagers and some of my aunts.

“Madison?” I hear Miranda yell out somewhere. She walks up to us and smiles at Madison. “Hi! I’m Miranda, Ray’s sister.”

Madison smiles. “Hey. Its nice to meet you.”

“I knew Ray liked you,” Mirands blurts out. “He’s stubborn.”

“Enough.” I pull Madison away. I sit her on a chair. “Tacos. Want some?”

She nods and smiles. It doesn’t seem right. It feels forced.

I hurt her feelings.

I can’t seem to go a fuckin day without doing that.

I sit by her while she eats. When she’s done I ask her if she wants to go home.

“No…” She admits.

I nod. “All right.”

I set up a place for her on my bed and lay her down. I planned on sleeping on the couch when everyone left. I sit next to her while she tries to fall asleep.

“You don’t have to be here,” She says. “I can handle it.”

I grin. “I’m good. I got nothing else to do.”

I climb over the bed and open my window next to it. Lighting another cigarette, I sit on the seal and dangle one leg out while the other balances me on the bed.

“You always look so mean when you smoke.” Madison pointed out.

I lean my head against the house and look up at the stars. “Oh yeah?”

“Yep.”

I look down at her. She looks comfortable, one arm behind her head and the other resting on her stomach. I can see her eyes in the moonlight, dark blue but still with the same shine. Her hair was everywhere on my pillow, her body tucked under my blankets.

“You look mean when you point out how mean I look.” I said to her.

She smiles, closing her eyes. “Shut up, you punk.”

I toss the cigarette and turn to her. “Punk?”

Her eyes open. “That’s who you are right? A punk.”

I grinned, laying next to her. “And you’re a prep.”

“I’m a lost cause.”

“Your not.”

“I am.”

“Shut up, Madison.”

She smiles. “Make me…”

I roll my eyes. “Your fuckin crazy if you think I’m going to fall for that.”

She stares at me for a minute until I move closer to her without realizing it.

I guess she is fuckin crazy.

I guess I am too.