Drunk And Doughnuts

Chapter Nine

"It's like little bumble bees humming in my ears" She spoke "bumble bees" she repeated and paused to think as a smile widened on her face. "I use to call you my little bumble bee when you were little." She said, "do you remember Delilah?"

"Yes." I paused and took a deep breath in "Mom why aren't you taking your meds?" I asked softly and then she replied simply.

"I don't need them anymore." She said.

"Why don't you need them?" I wanted to know.

"Because baby, I'm not sick." She laughed as if it was funny.

"Mom..." My eyes tired as I watched her but before I could continue my sentence she had snapped.

"I'm not sick Delilah!" She yelled "if you think I'm sick then maybe you should leave and never come see me again." She snapped throwing me a filthy look as she twisted her back to face me, whenever she had got this way she had broken my heart, she had shattered it into a million pieces.

"Do you know how much your words hurt me?" I asked with a lump in my throat, forcing back my tears.

"Do you know how much your words hurt me? You don't believe your own mother!" She shook her head. "When I tell you that I'm not sick anymore then I'm not sick! Do you understand?" She said as if she was right and I was wrong but I felt like debating with her could only end badly. It had hurt whenever I had seen her, I loved my mother and she couldn't help for the way she was, her illness was passed down to her genetically and even though it felt as if she would never be sane, I still had hope that one day she would.

"Yes, I understand mom." I said breathing in deeply and then I exhaled, in seconds our conversation was interrupted by a tall man with piercing blue eyes, he was apart of the staff and I assumed that he was here to tell me that visiting hours were over and it was time to leave. I had waited hours for dad to arrive home so I could use his car to drive out here and that had put a damper on my time spent with mom.

"Delilah." He nodded stepping inside with a slight smile, not having to say anything further because I already knew what his words would be.

"I know, I just need a second to say goodbye." I said and then he exited the room and closed the door quietly.

"Hey mom?" I said staring at her smiley face.

"Yeah?" She seemed excited and then her face dropped. "Baby If you walk out of those doors right now, don't ever come back okay?"

"But I need to go, visiting hours are over mom." I said trying to make her understand.

"No!" She yelled

"Mom I love you, I'll come back next month. I promise. Mom I promise." I pleaded as my eyes turned sad while hers lit up in rage. She grabbed a plastic cup from her bedside table and threw it at me as she screamed in fury.

"Go! Get out then!"

"Mommy stop!" I ducked.

"Leave! Don't ever come back! Don't you ever come back!" She cried as her tears streamed from her face, shattering me as I watched and then the guy with the piercing blue eyes rushed in after hearing the commotion.

"Delilah, I think it's best you leave." He said after a few other members of the staff came rushing inside to stabilize her, they wrapped their arms around her as she kicked and screamed, my eyes couldn't leave her, I just couldn't find it in myself to move my feet, until I was forced to by an old lady who had pulled me out and shut the door, trapping my mother inside.

"Hey sweetheart, are you okay?" She said placing her hands on my shoulders.

"I'm fine." I said pulling myself from her as tears stung my eyes. This is exactly why I had only visited my mother once a month because I could only endure the pain of her hurtful words in small doses. I wasn't emotionally stable enough to see her as often as I wanted to but I had to protect myself even if it meant my heart would still get broken every time I had seen her but that's what you unwilling do for the people you love,

You endure the pain no matter how much it stings, you suck out the poison and then heal yourself to get stung again.

"She stopped taking her meds." My words came out in a whisper as the old lady watched me. "Please keep a closer eye on her." I continued. "I love her, she's my mother." I said as I wiped my eyes and then pulled myself from her company as I forced my feet away from her and away from the only woman I loved. My feet stepped towards the front area as I watched patients wonder around, I suppose it was dinner time as I watched each one of them head over to the same room and then my heart had stopped dead in my chest.

"Vickrim!" I yelled in the quiet, still air as my voice echoed and then I clasped my hand over my mouth as everyone's eyes darted to see me but mine only saw him, His handsome self leaned against the white wall across from me, his arms folded on his chest and his one leg crossed over the other. His hair perfectly straight and his leather jacket perfectly fitted as his eyes stared hard at me, as if he was face to face with my soul.

I quickly walked towards him, doing a fast walk which was super embarrassing but I was so confused that the embarrassment didn't matter.

I marched straight up to him and whispered.
"What are you doing here!?" As I pressed my index finger against his chest but then he slapped my hand away.

"A, don't touch me and B, I'm here to see someone."

"You're here to see someone!?" I was shocked as my voice came out in speed "who are you here to see?" My eyes big.

"You." He said simply.

"How did you-"

"You really think I trust you that much? I know you won't rat me out to the cops because you're not stupid but one could never be to sure, so today I came up with the bright idea to have you followed." He paused and then stared out of the window "Wave to Wesley and Roger, you'll be seeing a lot of them." He smirked as I took a look through the window to see two buff men standing beside Vickrim's car.

"This is an invasion of privacy!" I yelled keeping my voice low as he rolled his eyes.

"Then go on, have me arrested." He laughed as he pushed himself up from the wall to pull out a cigarette from his he jacket pocket, he brought his little stick to his lips and then the lady at the front desk cleared her throat before she spoke.

"No smoking." She smiled as she pointed to the "no smoking" sign which had irritated Vickrim, I watched his movement clearly as he reached into his pocket and then I slapped my hand against it, felling the shape of the gun beneath his fingers.

"Don't." I pushed out my word as I stared him straight in the eye and saw him looking back at me and for a moment we stared until he looked away and then lifted his hand from his gun and smiled artificially. "I'm sorry, I'll go outside." He said and then wrapped his fingers around my wrist shlepping me along with him.