Adison's POV:
He's weak, the weakest person I know, who uses alcohol as a distraction, and an excuse. A coward, running away from his emotions and his own issues by picking up a bottle to force himself to think all is right in the world. A liar, saying it was all a mistake, blaming the intoxicating alcohol, but nothing is more intoxicating than the love that is small, but there, and the spell he has me under.
Leaving, I don't think will ever be an option for me, If I could just get him help, maybe go to rehab for his drinking problem this all could be fixed. When he's not drunk out of his mind he's everything I remember him to be. Loving, sweet, caring, willing to actually spend time with me. It all amazes me how he drags his un-sober self to work, beyond the capability of driving, and still manages to keep his job as an architect.
I'm sitting on the couch dwelling in my curious thoughts over shawn, when the landline phone goes off completely startling my focus.
With a huff of not wanting to experience anything more traumatizing than seeing the one I love slowly fading away into a lesser person, I pick up the phone, not bothering to check the number.
"Hello?" my voice cracks and it's only then that I realize I must've been crying the whole time, not seeing how his words effect me in such depressing ways.
"Adison oh my god I wasn't sure this was you," the familiar perky voice fills my ears, almost making me smile, remembering something that's always been good in my life.
Lauren.
Her voice, her attitude, everything, throws me completely off guard it being the fact that It's been about a year since I've talked to her. It then hits me that I haven't even told her about the loss of our baby, making me want to break down and cry all over again.
"No way, Lauren you're insane," I laugh, soaking up the beautiful feeling of being happy, not losing a single moment of something so precious.
"How have you been? You know the baby and Shawn, and well just about everything?" I can tell in her voice that she's genuinely happy to be talking to me, and for some reason I find this touching, as pathetic as this sounds.
"Uh, well," My mind races, both situations not good in the slightest, but me telling her about what's going on is like her believing that I'm making pancakes on the roof, and besides attention because of this is the last thing I need, "I actually really need to talk to you about the baby."
I almost said Shawn, I was so damn close to blurting out literally everything because I'm not allowed to do stuff like this, I'm not allowed to talk to my friends, causing me to ditch them for more than a year. I want to take full advantage that this one is back, back in my reach.
"Oh yeah okay," This time Lauren's usual perky voice holds some hesitancy, "How about tomorrow at 2? I still live in the same old crappy apartment and going by the area code from your phone number you don't live too far from here."
A smile and tears of relief meet my cheeks, me being overwhelmed with the fact that I'm going to finally be able to leave my house, possibly by getting past Shawn.
"Perfect," I beam, the smile I have even shines through my words.
"I'll see you then, but hey Adison?" my best friend's voice fills with wonder and concern, "Tell shawn I said hi and uh I just really missed you a lot.." A warming silence falls between us.
"I missed you too Laur, always have," and with that I hang up, practically gasping for air, not really taking the time to breathe throughout that whole conversation.
The act of even picking up that call fills me with adrenaline, because Shawn's the one who picks up the phone, with me never knowing who it is. I eventually learned to stop trying and asking who was on the other end, because it always ended with me against a wall and repeated hitting.
"I'm going to see my friend," I whisper to myself in disbelief, "and he can't stop me."
_____________________________________________________________________________________ yo I'm probably making you all hate shawn now lmao sorryyy
~Leah
