Complicated People, Complicated Love

Blessing

Maya

As much as I enjoy being with Lucas, I can't help but feel guilty whenever I see Riley, which is all the time.

I know that she's with Farkle, and I see how happy they are together, but can someone really get over somebody else that quickly? I mean, she was over the moon for Lucas for so long. And now she's just over it?

With these thoughts in mind, I climb through Riley's open window after school and see her doing homework on her bed.

"Hey!" She says happily when she hears me. She puts down her work, "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! Darn Lucas is taking up all of your time," she says, springing up to wrap me in one of her signature Riley hugs.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that," I say taking her hand and pulling her towards the bay window.

"About what?" We sit down and it hits me that it really has been a while since we've sat here together.

"Lucas," I answer. Riley smiles in a classic "oh Maya" sort of way.

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I'm totally okay with you guys, I actually ship it!" She sounds too perky. But then again, Riley always sounds too perky.

"You do?" I ask doubtfully.

"Hell yeah! I've never had a boyfriend before, and thanks to Farkle, I now know what it feels to truly be cherished by someone and to care for them just as much. It's like a lamp constantly on inside," she clutched a hand to her heart. "And I wouldn't want anyone to live without this feeling. I don't know how I did for so long. If you and Lucas feel what I feel for Farkle, then there's absolutely no reason why you two can't be together. It would be a crime to rip you away." I'm hit by a wave of relief, knowing that my best friend approves 100%. I don't know if I'll ever feel like I haven't betrayed her in some way, but no way do I regret Lucas.

"You're sure?" I ask. "You liked him for a long time," Riley takes my hand.

"Maya, that was just a crush, it's nothing like an actual relationship." She says and I smile, pleased to have her blessing. "And besides, he likes you, he always has. And I'm more than okay with that,"

After I get that weight off my chest, Riley and I talk for hours. She tells me how she and Farkle got together, which was she kissed him after he gave her a handmade bracelet. I told her about how I'd been staying with Lucas and that my dad's back. I basically tell her about just about everything.

It feels good to actually talk about what's been going on. Of course I didn't tell her about my headaches or the fact that my dad beats me, I don't want her to worry, I can handle it.

I sneak back into my room at nine, scared that my dad will see me if I come in the front door. I lay in bed, being soundlessly still for a few minutes until I'm sure that he's asleep, and then I too close my eyes.