Five Star Hotel

19. Pillowy Lips

This chapter's a roller coaster

I was so unbelievably frustrated.

Nick and I walked back in silence. He didn't respond to the news about Silvio's arrival and I stayed a few steps behind to assure that he wouldn't stab me in the back... literally.

Mother could tell something was wrong but she didn't come straight out and ask. I also didn't give her much of a chance to ask because I went home almost immediately after Nick and I returned. I did promise her that I wasn't mad, I was just tired and it was getting late anyway. We'd have to reinvent her another day.

I did exactly what Nick did the night I dumped him, I wandered around until I made it to a bar where nobody knew me and got sh!t-faced. It was great!

It was the sleaziest bar I had ever been at but for some reason I liked the seedy atmosphere. I liked watching the guy with an eyepatch getting a lap dance by the beautiful girl in the corner, I liked the smell of marijuana that filled the place, I liked watching the exchanges of money and brown paper bags between the average joe and drug lords. I was comforting. It reminded me that I was not alone in my problems, as a matter of fact my issues were nothing compared to others. We all had our own dark cloud hanging above us, it wasn't just me, it wasn't just Dante, it was all of us.

I plopped myself down at the counter and ordered a scotch on the rocks just the way my dad drank his. That one glass turned into two glasses and eventually it morphed into shots of tequila. The bartender who looked like she was in her fifties encouraged me to keep going, it might've been because I drunkenly tipped big, but whatever her reason I decided to listen to her.

I ended up liking the company of the fifty three year old depressed lesbian. Her girl friend had left her about a month ago and she was still bitter about the break up.

But this woman was a spirit animal in herself. Even though she didn't realize it, she was pretty f@cking amazing.

I began to spill my guts after the first shot of tequila, leaving out whatever mafia sh!t Nick had implied in our conversation. After I finished with my rant she handed me some of her special cookies and said that I needed them more than she did, so like the drunken idiot I was I took one.

"F@ck men!" She chanted, pounding her fist down on the counter.

"F@ck men." I slurred.

"You think that bastard is telling you the truth? No. He. Isn't. F@ck him! He's a lying, cheating piece of sh!t who finally realized what he lost. I call bullish!t on that story." She took a sip of whatever she was drinking. "Don't trust either of them, not Dante or Nick. Find out that sh!t for yourself. Men are nothing but cheating, lying scum who rely on their d!ck to make the decisions. F@ck that!"

"Who hurt you?" I laughed at her rant.

"Do you know how many times I've been told by some stuck up man with a micro d!ck that they could turn me? F@ck men." She repeated.

"F@ck men!" I swallowed another shot.

"Exactly." She looked proud of me.

"The d!ck is good though." I mumbled. "Does that make me a hypocrite? I like the sex. I want to have sex with him now." I frowned down at my empty cup.

"I hope you're referring to Dante and not Nick."

"Dante. Double D" I laughed.

"Go get that d!ck. All I'm saying is not to trust him, make sure you have the upper hand.