Initiate [ERIC/JAI]

16

"Are you ready, Cassia?" Four's voice echoed through the small room, snapping me away from my dazed state. My eyes connected with his for a moment before flicking back to my hands, which were fumbling together. 

"I hope so." I admit, I didn't believe I was ready for this. We only got to practice a small number of times, enough to count on one hand. From what I knew, I had six fears. 

Falling, Darkness, Loneliness, Drowning, Death and My Father. 

I couldn't distinguish which of them was worse, they all caused me the same amount of pain. As I stepped out of that small room with Four, I instantly forgot everything I'd been told. My mind went blank and I could hear a constant low rumble. My eyes scanned the large room we had entered, the infamous orange chair sat in the middle. The walls were lined with viewing desks, people sat at every one of them, although one person in particular caught my eye. 

Jeanine..

One wrong move and I knew I was dead, all these people watching me would be my funeral. They'd murder me on the spot, before I even woke up. I didn't believe in a God, though I was praying that I'd make it out alive. Four stood next to the orange chair as I laid down in it. His eyes connected with mine once more. 

"Remember everything we spoke about, you have to get out the Dauntless way. You might experience fears you haven't seen in your fear landscape so he prepared for anything. Everyone can see what's happening but this time I can't pull you out. If you die, you die." He places a hand on my cheek, slowly caressing it before injecting me with the serum. "Good luck, Cass. See you soon." His voice faded into the darkness as my eyes sealed shut.

The roof. I felt the breeze run through my hair once again, something that now felt so familiar to me. I didn't hesitate, pushing myself up from my lying position. The ledge didn't seem as daunting as when I first encountered it, however I took a minute to catch my breath. If you die, you die. I shake my head and begin to walk around the edge, steadily stepping across all corners until reaching the exit. I pushed myself through the door, expecting my next fear already. The room was exactly as it was before, four tiny lamps that each blew out. This time there was no chair but the ambiance was the thing that scared me the most. I took in a deep breath and felt my way to the nearest wall of the building, slowly walking alongside it until reaching a wooden door. I pull the door open to reveal a now lit up room, stepping into it. I turn around, the door now gone. The four walls of the room seemed tighter now with only a pipe in the ceiling. Before I could think, water poured from it into the tiny room. I was frustrated, not knowing what to so until my eyes noticed a small vent in one of the corners quite high up. I ran to the corner, jumping up at the vent and pulled myself slowly up. It took all the strength I had to get up there and close the vent behind me. I curled up into a ball inside the small space, a tear escaping from my eye. I could hear distant chatter, causing me to look up from my position. I was back in an open room, people were in the far side of the room. I pushed myself up and ran to them, being greeted by a glass wall to the face. All the people looked at me, they included Four, Eric and even Apollo. They all laughed.

They were laughing at me. I smashed my hand against the glass, causing them to laugh even more. I shook my head furiously. 

"I will not be ignored! I will not be lonely. I will be listened to." I smashed my hand against the glass once more, blood now coming from my wounds. They stopped laughing. I turned around, my father stood towering above me. His hand held one of the fireplace tools, the one he burnt me with many times. I kicked his leg, him slumping to one side before pulling the tool from his grasp, putting it up towards his face. The look of fear in his eyes seemed too real. I kicked him down onto his back and slumped down into a heap on the floor. 

I opened my eyes. I was in the orange chair, Eric now beside me. 

"You did great." He smiled at me. I nodded at him, a small smile placed itself upon my lips. "Pity I have to kill you." Before I knew it I was pinned back down to the chair with a gun pointed at my head. I looked into Eric's eyes as a tear escaped mine. Was this how I died? After all I'd done.. I looked deeper, seeing the emotionless man who had me pinned to the chair.

"You're not the Eric I love." I scoff, raising my leg to kick his groin, snatching the pistol from his grip. The man in front of me cowered on his knees, still emotionless. I pulled the gun to his head, looked away and pulled the trigger. 

That's when I woke up. Eric ran to my side, pushing Four to one side. I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me up from the chair. 

"I am so sorry, Cassia. I can't apologise enough for the things I have done and what I've put you through." His lips connected to my forehead, before he helped me walk away from the dreaded orange chair. 

*

"Do you think I passed?" I questioned Eric, who sat beside me on his sofa. "I understand if you can't say anything-"

"You passed with flying colours, Cassia. You're meant to be Dauntless." His hand reaches to mine, intertwining our fingers. I looked down at them and pulled my hand away. "You should get some rest though, I saw the hell you were put through today. You can have my room, I'll sleep here." A slight smile crept upon his lips. I nodded in thanks. "About your fear landscape.." He trails as he stands up from his position on the sofa. 

"Eric, I said something which I truly meant. We both know how we feel about each other." His face brightens. "However I'm not in the same place as you right now, I have a lot of feelings to process." He sighs and nods in response. My head and my heart were in a constant battle, my heart telling me to love him but my head telling me I hate him. Every time I saw his face, I felt the pain of Apollo too, if he could sit back and watch an innocent person like Apollo die I feared for what he'd do to me. I felt his stare still on me, he was analysing me- trying to find out what I was thinking. "Goodnight, Eric." I coughed, he took the signal and walked away whilst I got up and exited the room.