Initiate [ERIC/JAI]

10

The journey back to Dauntless was silent, not a word spoken from either of the men to my sides. Don't get me wrong, I was happy people cared for me but it was too much. Eric wanted to kill my father and Four tried to step in being the hero. I couldn't understand what I was feeling, I was confused but at the same time, I knew what I wanted.

I wanted Eric.

It was the first time I'd admitted it to myself however, I couldn't get him out of my mind. He seemed so dangerous to everyone else but a different side of him showed whenever he.was with me. I shake my head and get ready to jump off the train. Both Eric and Four got up. Eric nudged Four and let him jump first. Four did so, leaping out of the train carriage. In a split second, Eric lunged at the button. The doors of the train shut, trapping us inside and rolling past the Dauntless compound. 

"What are you doing?" I question Eric, furrowing my eyebrows at him. 

"We're going on a walk." He walked back to where he originally stood, maintaining his stare upon me. He didn't take his eyes off of me, not until he called out for us to get off. "We're jumping." He muttered, pressing the button to open the train doors. He jumped almost instantly, causing me to jump also. My body crashed into the soft grass surrounding the area, a nice change from the concrete on the Dauntless building. 

"A walk isn't going to change what you did, Eric." I speak aloud when I stand, grasping eye contact with him. 

"I accept what I did, Cassia. Your father is a pig." He spits onto the floor, one thing that disgusted me. I wince.

"He's still my father." I pause, taking in my surroundings. "I don't know what kind of caring act you're pulling but Eric, that was not the way to go about it. You had no right to do that." He shakes his head, dissatisfied with my statement. "You can think you're right as much as you want but you aren't Eric. You're not always right and you can't deal with it." I scream at him. 

His face softens and he turns around, starting to walk away from me. It wasn't long before he turned back to face me.

"You know Cassia, all I've been doing is trying to protect you. However it doesn't really seem to be working out in my favour." He sounded so hurt, but his words hurt me more. 

"And what Eric? Protecting me to what, be a slave to you? I'm not yours Eric, deal with it." I spit. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes and turned away from him, I didn't know where to go but I needed to get away from him. 

He was manipulative, he was cold, I love him. I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts about him. I followed the train tracks before reaching the city once again. I knew he would be following me back, checking to make sure I was okay. I knew he cared for me, he just never experienced anything like it before. We were both new to the feeling but he handled it in the wrong way. I'd gotten past what my father did to me, I'd moved on. It wasn't his battle to fight.

I'd followed the tracks right back to Dauntless, entering the building to a worried Four. His expression changed when he saw me walk through the door. 

"Where the hell did he take you? Are you okay?" He grasped both my shoulders, shaking me softly. I chuckled, holding back a cry.

"I'm fine." He pulled me in for a tight hug, hearing the door open behind us. He let go of me as we both looked towards the door. Eric stepped in, he looked hurt. 

"You move on fast." He chuckled, his normal tone muted now. 

"Four is my friend, do you have a problem with that? Are you going to try to kill him too?" I blurted out, the anger snapped onto Eric's face. He grasped my neck and pulled me to his face. His grip wasn't tight but it was enough. "Do it." I spat. 

The anger left his face so quickly, letting go of my neck. I watched as a tear escaped his eye, slowly rolling down his cheek. Without uttering a word, he left the room. Was this the guy I was in love with? Was he the one I really wanted? My breathing slowed, my legs collapsed underneath me. I heaped onto the floor and held my head in my hands. Four put an arm around me, trying to comfort me. "What have I done? I have feelings for him Four but all I want to do is push him away." I cried out, it was pathetic yet true. 

"Maybe you push him away because you're scared, Cassia. You know he isn't your typical man and that scares you. Let me tell you, throughout my initiation with Eric, he was a dick." Four chuckled, gaining a small laugh to escape my lips. "I've never seen him care for a person so much. Eric adored his mother before she died, yet he doesn't even talk about her as much as he talks about you." He adds to his statement. His mother died..

I stand up, pushing myself strongly up off the ground. I smile at Four and make my way to find Eric. 

*

I saw his legs dangling over the chasm bridge, his face puzzled. I watched him from the entrance until he noticed me, then walking towards him. I slumped down next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. He placed his arm around my shoulder, comforting me. The tears continued to fall down my cheeks until I had enough courage to speak. 

"I understand your actions, Eric. I know how much you care for me and I know you have a hard time trying to show me how you feel. I've been keeping my feelings to myself also, the truth is I really like you Eric. I know I'm an initiate but you can't deny your emotions right?" I question, my heart was hoping for a similar response from him.

"I like you a lot, Cass. I really do have a hard time displaying it. I've never felt like this before, about anyone." He admits to me. 

We pull away from each other, now gazing into each other's eyes. His eyes were so beautiful, so piercing yet soft. He cupped my face with one hand and brought my face closer to his. My lips attached onto his, moving as one. I'd never felt this way before, I could feel the warmth of his body radiating. The heat rose to my cheeks quickly, forcing me to detach my lips from his. The heat was prominent in my face and he saw it. "Cassia.." He uttered my name in such a soft tone. "Be mine." He whispered into my ear.  Before biting my lip, I nodded violently.