Attempting Average

A Gentlemanly Price

Author's note: Wooo long(ish) chapter

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I dragged my feet walking to the park on Saturday. I was feeling pretty masculine today, wearing combat boots, jeans a light jacket and my poly scarf over it. I didn't even know what I was going to say, or how I was going to say it. Once I made it to the park I sat on a swing and waited for Will to arrive. I tightened my scarf around my neck and thought about what I was going to say. I heard footsteps leading up to me, but didn't look up.

"Hey, Jessie," Will sat on the swing next to me.

"Hey. You wanted to talk?" I glanced over at him.

"Yeah. About the other day. We never had a chance to talk about it." He stood up and walked in front of me, our knees brushing. I could feel my heart pounding a mile a minute, not from close proximity, but rather dread.

"Uh huh... I decided to let him go wherever was going with this."

"I've been so confused lately, I don't know how I feel anymore. I found out I was asexual, and it was great. Then I started thinking about how I felt romantically. I was so confused about that too. I remember on the first day you were super girly, and I thought 'hey, look a cute girl. I should date her,' then I found out you were genderfluid and that threw a wrench in my heteroromantic-ness. So I thought I must have been panromantic. But whenever you were dressed like a guy, like you are today, I don't know. I just," He leaned over quickly and before I knew it, his chapped lips were on mine.

My eyes widened as I felt his cold hands on either sides of my face and our noses were bumping together awkwardly. My hands were floating in the air as I tried leaning back a little to try to get away, as I didn't want to offend him. Instead of taking the hint, he moved with my retreat even more than I was leaning back, deepening the kiss. He finally pulled away and sighed sadly.

"i'm sorry about that, Jessie. I really did want to like you romantically, but I can't. I tried so hard, but I can't like you when you aren't a girl. I hope things won't be too awkward with us so we can still be friends."

I let out a sigh of relief. "It's fine WIll. I was trying to think of a way to tell you I'm not into you in that respect either. Glad to know we're all good."

"Wait what? But I thought you liked me." Will tilted his head.

"No, I thought I did, but I felt like I had to be into you because you were into me. You feel me?" I tossed one end of my scarf over my shoulder.

Will nodded. "So we're all good now?"

"I would think so."

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Monday ended up being fairly memorable. Feeling more on the feminine side, I spent about thirty minutes deciding what to wear. I ended up settling on a floral patterned jeans with a loose pink tee shirt. I pinned my bangs back with a flower clip.

Walking to first period, I ran into Lourens. "Hey, Jess. I didn't know you got here this early," he said.

Stopping so I wouldn't be rude I smiled at him and replied, "Hey, Lour. I'd stay and chat, but I need to get to my class before someone."

"Why?" Lourens tilted his head in confusion.

I shrugged, "I don't really know. It's become kind of an inside joke to see who can get there first."

Lourens closed his locker and began walking next to me, "Well, then I'll walk you to your first period class," We chatted a small bit walking down the hallway. We reached the class in what felt like two seconds.