A journey from haram to halal

chapter 7

Alhamdullilah.....he didn't call.....nothing happened like my worst imagination.....even if for the last few days I was on fire I was glad it was monday....

I was so gloomy that I was not interested in any thing. ...I didn't listen to my classes and didn't even went out of the class during break time....I was always thinking about him....

So many thoughts about him...what will he think about me if I reveal my identity. ...surely he will see me as a bad girl
....where this is taking me....what have I done....it was all fun to tame him....I hate this situation. ..I hate stress. ..I always want to be tension free....but what have I done....how will I solve this puzzle which happened to be my life....

We all sat up for discussion.....riya was brain washing me saying to leave everything not to contact him because it will lead to more problems....ziya was so silent.....she felt guilty ....she thinks all this happened because of her....that was another problem killing me...it also affected my friends....all my foolishness had lead us to this.....finally I took the decision.....

I hugged ziya and told her she is so important to me because she is my first friend here...I told not to be guilty because this was what allah had planned for me...if I contact him more it will hurt me.....

I made the plan and called him from the coin booth.....

Zaman: hello....

Me: hello....thanks for not calling

Zaman: so does that mean its you zarah...

Me: no.....

Zaman: then how does you know that I didn't call her...

I was so angry. ..all this happened because of him....

Me: I know more than that...how much stressed she was these 2 days because of you....how much carefull she was because of you...how her heart felt each time the phone rang....and the saddest part she suffered all this because you and me....

Zamam: please make it more clear....

Me: do you remember about a mutual friend....that's her zarah...she didn't know anything about my foolishness...I gave that card to her to post it she gave that to her friend who wrote that address and now she suffers.....yes I was so blind to contact you and now see my friend suffers for what I have done....I can't do this anymore....I can't hurt her anymore. ..I don't need your friendship anymore

Zaman: hey...just relax. ..we could solve out everything....

Me: no need of that zaman....good bye forever....I will not disturb you....and please don't disturb zara because I don't wanna put her in trouble because of us...I am only asking you this.....and I am sorry for what I did to you.....sorry...

Before he could reply I put the receiver back...I don't want to hear anything more because it will hurt me if I listen to him...I dont wanna break my heart...

I hugged ziya and riya and cried for few minutes....I don't know why....there wasn't any relation between us....just a few months friendship....but for me it was the end of so many dreams I made in my mind from the day I met him...the dreams I made of glass was so fragile that it broke with the mere touch...it hurts really hurts to think that it came to an end without reaching anywhere......I am gonna miss him....truly....

Zaman's pov

Its been 3 weeks after that incidence....I think she is keeping her word...she stopped calling me....initially it didn't affect me...but now....I don't know....I miss her voice...I miss her presence in my life.....

Every day after 4 o'clock when my phone rings I know its her...but now I always check for her calls and messages in Facebook....she never comes online....I don't know what's happening....I was so rude to her.....she only asked me to be her friend....it doesn't harm to be a friend of someone. ..maybe she needed someone to listen to her...but I hurt her....and now its hurting me...

I don't have any contact number and I cant contact zara....at least thats what I can do for her...but I kept on messaging her on Facebook to forgive me....

I don't care if she is zara or zoha...I don't know why I went behind that...I lost her trust on me...I shouldn't have done that....I lost someone who cares about me even if she is not near me....I was so lucky to be in someone's thoughts and prayers but I messed everything....

Zarah's pov

Its been weeks I already miss him from the first day itself...but I can't take risk...he don't have any feelings towards my friendship then why should I be the only one hurting....

Every day after the class when I pass through the coin booth all those feelings and memories about him come to my mind....but alhamdullilah for my sweet friends especially riya and ziya....they helped me alot to move on even if it wasn't a breakup it was having worst impact on me...I even stopped using Facebook because I know it will only hurt me and I don't wanna live in memories ...I wanted to move on...and I hope I succeeded...

Another love bloomed in our friend circle....I was so happy when I came to know that one of my friend Ahamed likes riya....it was mutual feelings....even if my relation didn't succeed I wish they last forever....because their love for each other was evident in everything....I wish I had a relation like them....