Off Campus | ✓

18: Mila- Beside You

promises are a way of ordering the future to make it predictable

****

I DIDN'T EXPECT so early into this relationship to see Enzo cry. I estimated that it would be quite some time before I could see his tears and be mentally prepared for it then.

My, was I wrong...

I wasn't prepared to see how his eyes turned glossy as he hugged the man with his strength. The stillness of time at that very second gutted me. When was the last time I saw someone that made me cry out of happiness?

Never. Not since dad passed away.

The shallowness of all my relationships combined couldn't beat the depth that Enzo and this man had.

"I'm so glad you're alive," Doctor Leo repeated, clutching Enzo even tighter. "You do not understand what we've been through when we couldn't contact you anymore. Are you okay? Is your mother alright?"

"She's fine, zio. We missed you guys a lot, but we couldn't risk anything happening to you." Enzo pulled away and wiped his tears. "But could you help my wrist? It's starting to feel numb from your tight hug," he joked.

"Oh, yes! Mila, could you grab the case from my bag? It's brown with a silver latch. Daniel, help me carry him into a room."

We rushed to our assigned tasks, and I see Enzo being taken into the guest room around the corner.

"This boy keeps bringing more and more problems," mother sneered, coming to stand in front of me. "Seriously, Mila, what do you see in this trash? Did you not hear what he told Dr. Leo? 'We couldn't risk anything happening to you'. Who's to say that he won't tell you the same thing?"

"Being a bit optimistic, aren't you?" I sarcastically retorted.

"See! He's already changed how you speak to me!"

"Just... stop." I sigh, exasperated with her bullshit. "I need to go give this case to Dr. Leo, you're in my way."

She huffs but takes a step backward. I move past her and head into the room.

I see Enzo sprawled on the bed, with his hand over a pillow for support.

"I brought the case you asked for." I place it next to Dr. Leo, who's massaging Enzo's wrist.

"Does it hurt here?" He put pressure in one area. Enzo's groan was the only answer.

"Alright," he placed Enzo's hand down and opened his case. He took out a syringe and a white encasing full of liquid. "This is a very small dosage of morphine." He emphasized. "I'm not going to prescribe you any opioids, but if the pain is unbearable, call me. In the meantime, use over-the-counter stuff like Advil. Understand?"

"Got it doc'." Enzo flashed a grin. His eyes flutter to meet mine. Flashing another smile, Enzo adjusts his position and slowly gets up from the bed.

"You know the reason I feel down the stairs?" He looks embarrassed.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because you were looking beautiful, and I skipped a step."

"Fuck, you're joking right?" I hold in a laugh. "You actually can't be this cheesy..."

"I'm not joking," Enzo pouts. "You looked breathtaking, and I thought to myself that you couldn't have been more gorgeous at that moment."

"So..." I pause. "Beautiful, breathtaking, gorgeous. What's next? Dazzling?"

"Hmm... that's actually a good one. I'll use that next time." He smirked.

"Shut up," I punch his arm. Enzo flinches and lets out a grunt.

"Oh my God, I punched the arm that's not hurt. Stop being a wuss."

"What's next? Pansy, wimp, weakling?" He retorted.

I let out a surprised laugh. "Okay, but the last one was bad."

"Yeah, I know, I couldn't remember any words that are synonymous to wuss." Enzo laughed along with me.

We look at each other and pause, the teasing mood forgotten and replaced with longing.

"This is nice..." Enzo sighs, placing his head on my shoulder. "I haven't been this happy in a long time, Mila."

The air stills, but we both revel in each other's silence. Finally, I respond, "Me too Enzo."

"Promise me," he steps away. Squaring his shoulders, Enzo takes my hand in his. "Promise that whatever happens, you'll be here for me."

I stand there silently, not knowing what to say. As more time passes, the more I know that this inclination I feel towards him is for good reason, but just not good enough.

"I can't," I struggle to get the words out. "Enzo, this is too soon in our relationship for us to be promising each other such things."

"Mila," he squeezes my hand. "Do you not feel this?"

"I do," I say. "But I can't guarantee anything. Neither can you, so making such promises would be worthless if they're made now instead of later."

Enzo takes a deep breath.

"I understand, this was too soon. But when the time comes where you feel ready, just tell me. I respect your decision since we're both in this together."

"Thank you," I feel my throat clogging up. "That means so much to me."

He comes forward and kisses my forehead, "Of course." After that he leaves the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.