The Letter..

14. Life Happens..

"Yeah, I'm leaving Tuesday and I won't be back until Friday night"

"Oh.. yeah, I remember"

I guess I'll be taking off this whole week, I don't even have that type of privilege yet. I could lose my job but that's life.

"Okay, love you. Drive safe"

"Love you too"

I put Zari's coat and opened the door to leave, I normally don't stress over anything. Just because I make a way no matter what, but tonight I'm low-key stressed. I don't know if I made the right choice taking this job. I unlocked my car and opened the door and put Zari in her seat and strapped her in. When I got in the car myself I started it and turned the heat on because it's freezing outside now that winter is around the corner.

I leaned against the steering wheel of my car, a tear fell but I quickly dried my eyes. It's hard being a single mom when you need truly need more help. Although Justin was only around two weeks, I truthfully appreciated all the help I received. It took away the stress of my dad having to watch her. He has been the one getting up every morning faithfully to watch her since she was six weeks old. Justin honestly let me down, but I'm not surprised one bit.

:

Despite the fact that I got off at midnight and I should have been sleepy. I didn't get much sleep, I was up most of the night worrying if I'd have a job or not after I call off. I'm a hard worker,  when it comes to making my money. I have never called off for any reason unless it was an emergency. And even with that I've only called off one time out of the whole year and a half that I've been working as an MA.

I knew one day this would happen eventually, I can't blame anyone. I just have to move quicker and find a place I know my baby can go while I work. I've called a few places this morning and I found three daycares that I'll be touring tomorrow morning. I have to make shit happen because the other half of this unit can't even get his shit together long enough to play his part.

While I was braiding Zari's hair my phone ring and the number I've been waiting to see popped up on the screen. I answered it and accepted the call..

"I miss my baby, can you come down here and let me see her?"

"No"

"Man, I just wanna see my daughter, I don't ask you for anything else. I've been calling and begging you for weeks. The least you could do is bring her down here.. please"

"No, what we're not gonna do is have a pity party. How many times have you been arrested? How many? And you keep doing the same stupid ass shit. I gave you the opportunity to be a father to your daughter, I let you stay with me for two weeks! A week and a half longer than you were supposed to stay here. You had unlimited time with her and I never asked you for a fucking dime. If anything I asked you to do better for her! If you needed help of any kind you could have asked me. I would have gotten you a job in less than a week. I would have helped you beat the little charge you had pending against you. But no.. you went back did some stupid shit and now you're back out the county. And that's where you're gonna sit until they release you. No I'm not flying out there, no I'm not coming to visit you. The only reason I'm even talking to you is for the simple fact that I care! You need to wake the hell up and realize I'm the mother of your child. I am not your ride or die, I'm not about that life. I'm about making legit money, furthering my education and raising my child the right way. You need to understand how stupid you look, you cannot play these little boy games for the rest of your life"