Two months later
Zahara
I looked at the clock and noticed it was midnight, I just finished my second sixteen hour shift this week and I am exhausted. But that's not gonna stop me, I work hard for everything thing that I have so this is what I do. Eight hour shifts five days a week and two sixteen hour shifts on the weekends. Now that I work at the hospital, everything is so much faster but my checks remind me why I work so much. I'm honestly waiting for the day Justin comes back to town. I'm trying to put in more work and gain more hours, I have goals I'm trying to meet. And I don't wanna depend on my dad too much, he has a life too and by me working and leaving my child with him I take away from that.
I'm trying to move into a bigger place, closer to my job. Somewhere with a good learning center that I can hopefully enroll Zari into. I feel like a day care of some sort would really be helpful when I go to work. My dad's getting older, he wants to travel with Michael and live his life. He doesn't wanna become my permanent babysitter so he gave me a time limit. I need to find a place that I feel would be best for her while I work. But the thing is, on the weekend what do I do? For once in my life I need Justin's help, being a long distance father is one thing that makes it hard. The other thing is him being locked up, he's back in jail. Has been for a month now, I can't make him change..
When I pulled up to my dad's house I noticed the lights on through the window. Zari doesn't wanna sleep, lately she'll cry and cry when it's time to go to bed. It has gotten to the point where my dad is refusing to watch her when I work like this. I understand so I can't be mad.. I expect him to stay up late so I can pick her up. And get up super early so I can drop her off and on top of that she's becoming a cry baby. No one is gonna watch her and it's stressful as fuck. I bust my ass as a mom, I go work with less than four hours a sleep. I can't complain.. no one told me to throw it back and make a baby, I did that on my own.
I opened the door and immediately I could tell my dad was a little upset..
"Dad, I'm sorry.."
"You have to do something Zah, I love my grandbaby I really do. But I cannot take the crying for hours and her not wanting to go to bed. I don't understand what's going on.. is it your new work schedule? Are you throwing her off by working so many late hours on the weekend followed by very early hours during the week? I'm not really understanding. She's not on a schedule, I'm too old for this. I'm staying up until damn near one in the morning waiting on you because you drive almost an hour home. I'm getting to bed at one thirty, two o'clock in the morning. Come on now. I love you but it's becoming a bit much"
"I know.. I'm just trying to work as much as I can so I can move a little closer to my job. I'm also looking for daycare centers that I can put her in. I feel bad that I'm basically dropping her off on you everyday. I've done that since she was born but I don't really have anyone else to watch her"
"I know, that's why I try not to complain. But I get tired.."
"Well tomorrow I'm off... so you can enjoy your Monday however you want"
I'm really not off, but I guess I'll have to call in and tell them I can't make it. I don't know anyone else that can watch her during the week. Lucas works daytime like I do, so does Michael but he already told me from the jump he's not a baby sitter.
"Okay, but remember im going out of town with Michael for three days"
"That's this week?"
