Finding Claire

Chapter 12

If I was telling the truth, I was sort of hoping Nathan would change his mind and come back, but I was just getting my hopes up. When he didn't acknowledge me the next day, I almost stood up to go figure out what I had done.

Was he embarrassed to be seen with me? Was he mad that I hadn't told him earlier and he didn't want to be bullied like me? That was the only think running through my mind the entire period, and I sighed as the bell rang. If I wanted answers, I would have to get them and the only way to get them was to confront him.

Do it after class. My conscience told me and I so wanted to roll my eyes at myself. First, she told me to forget about him. Now she's telling me to talk to him!! I should make up my mind!!!

The entire period, I was bouncing in my seat and rushing through everything, including the test we had to study for yesterday. I didn't know if I had done as well as I hoped for, but I couldn't think about that right now. I had much more important things to worry about.

As soon as the bell ran, I popped out of my seat and jumped right in front of him, leaving my stuff behind me. He jumped back in surprise and I looked up at him.

"Why are you avoiding me?" I managed to whisper to him. I thought I had the guts to talk to him, but just looking at him made my mind go blank.

"I can't be friends with you. I'm not the person you think I am."

My heart broke again and I could tell it hurt him a little since he flinched at his own words. I stood there, staring at him in shock and he took that to his advantage as left me there, staring off into the spot he had just occupied.

I felt the tears threatening to come out, but I took deep breaths and closed my eyes.

Fine. If he didn't want to remember the few days we had as friends, then I would forget about him too.

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We had a little less than two weeks left of school before winter vacation started, so that meant midterms were going to show their ugly faces again. I internally groaned and wished that we could all skip the tests and just get the grades based on the classes. If that was the case, I would pass all my tests and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

But nope. Life was hard and stupid and arrogant like some people I used to know. I didn't want to name any names, but if I had to... well you would know who I'm talking about.

It had been almost an entire week since he stopped speaking to me, and I started to feel and see how that had affected me. I didn't realize I had changed my uniform until I was doing my laundry. While I was friends with him, I had been wearing bright colors underneath my sweater. Colors I would never wear to school. And now, I went back to my dark and plain colors like before.

I also noticed that Gabby began her bullying again so now every morning, the first thing I heard were her evil words and then something was thrown at me. I went back to my old corner and sat there as the tears silently ran down my face.

I would go to class, see him and tried to ignore the small pieces of paper being thrown at me. Once, I saw his back stiffen as a piece landed by his chair and I looked down, hoping he wouldn't look at me.

My parents could tell that something was wrong with me again and they tried their best to get me to talk to them, but of course I just shut them out. I could hear my moms soft cries every night and I would cry with her until I couldn't cry anymore or until I fell asleep.

Four more days passed like this and then on the last day before midterms that's when I couldn't take it anymore. As soon as her usual words started to come out, I looked up at her blue eyes and spoke my mind for the first time in years.

"Can you just shut your trap and leave me alone!? I am fucking tired of all your bullshit and all your lies! Just because you are at the top of the food chain doesn't mean that you can bully and push me around! It was only a damn hug that happened between me and him but of course you had to turn it into a whole other story, turning me into a slut. Well the slut in this story is you Gabby! You don't know who I am so you should stop treating me like you fucking do! Get a life and change your personality because if I was telling you the truth, it just makes you look like you are jealous. So shut your mouth and leave me the fuck alone from now on or else I will be doing something that I will NOT regret!"

I walked away fuming as she stared at me with an open mouth. It felt GOOD taking my anger and feelings off my chest and I knew I wouldn't be that bullied girl anymore. That was the old me, and it was time for normal me to come back. She has been away for far too long.

I went to my usual corner, but this time instead of sulking down, I felt too excited as the adrenaline still coursed through my system. My fingers twitched and there was only one thing in my mind that could help me calm down.

I popped off the wall and sprinted to the piano, opening the top off and smiling as it let out a squeak. I took off my sweater, feeling a little warm but also knowing the piece that was running through my mind would leave me breathless and sweaty. Without skipping a second, I played a big scale for a warm up and then began to play.

As my fingers flew through the keys, I couldn't help but to push out the feelings I had been bottling up these entire three years. The anger, sadness, hurt that I had felt were now coursing through my blood and letting me play the piece I had practiced for a while with perfection. As it slowed down for a few bars, I began to think of the few days I had with Nathan. On how happy and free I felt with him. But then I thought of his abandonment and the feelings changed at the same time the song did. I could tell the adrenaline was wearing off and I was glad the song was coming to an end. My muscles and fingers were aching from playing fast and my forehead was covered in the sweat I had called about before. As the last notes rung in the air, I gasped for air and hung my head above the keys, smiling at myself for many reasons.

I had done it. I had finally done it.

I didn't realize I was not alone until I heard a squeak behind me and I snapped my head towards the noise. My eyes widen at the person I least expected to be there.

Nathan.

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SQEEEEEEK! SHE FINALLY SPOKE HER MIND!!! I am so proud of her!! Anyways, the song she was playing is from the same app I told you about a couple chapters ago. The name is Moonlight Sonata - III. Presto Agitato. It's fast and beautiful and y'all should check it out. Love you awesome nerds!!!