Push (Josh Ramsay)

And In and Out

It's been a week since Josh ran off.

An entire week.

Seven days.

I met him eight days ago.

Why do I care so much?

I barely know him.

But I relate.

The drinking, the heroin, god knows what else, I relate.

Speaking of heroin... I needed more.

The lying, stealing, and sleeping around, was it really worth it?

Probably not. But I don't care.

I snuck out and went to my usual spot in the park. It was cold. I could see my breath every time I breathed out. The cold ground crunched beneath my feet as I ducked behind bushes and tore my way through weeds. As I neared the clearing, a familiar scent hit my nose. Heroin. I followed my footprints to the worn patch of grass, and noticed something,  someone, in the tuft of grass where I would usually sit. I sighed loudly, and  sat across from the limp figure. Just as I was about to begin prepping my foil, I noticed a subtle glow beneath the discarded square of foil. Just like that I was up, smashing the embers into the frozen soil.

"Hey! Watch what you're doing!" I yelled. "Your damn zippo nearly caught my grass on fire!"

No reply.

I shook the limp body only to be met with a dry gaze.

A familiar gaze.

Josh.

"Dammit Joshua" I scoffed

"Doncahmejushuh" he mumbled.

"I'm taking you to my house to get you cleaned up" I commanded. "Up."

I grabbed him by his arms and tried pulling him up  to his feet.  His knees couldn't support his lame body and he remained seated limply in the grass. I then tried by bringing my hands under his arms and around his chest, and managed to drag him out of the clearing into the dimly lit park.

Though I managed to get him this far, I needed help. I called my friend parker, who lived across the street and convinced him to drive me home.

Once he arrived we hoisted Josh in the car. Luckily my mother had left so we were able to just bring him down the stairs.

"Thanks P" I called as he left and immediately began tending to Josh. I attempted to unzip his vomit stained sweatshirt so I could throw it in the wash but he crossed is arms the second I touched it. "Josh I need to wash this" I explained.

"idonwanyoutaseethem" he replied, sending a wave of fear through my body. Please no.

"See what Josh?" I gulped, hoping he wouldn't say it.

"imafucup" He mumbled and began crying.

"Josh, You're not a fuck up. I'm going to take this off now. You don't have to worry around me okay"

"igussoo" he replied as he uncrossed his arms.

I slowly sat him up and unzipped the dark hoodie to reveal a worn black AC/DC shirt. Slowly,  I pulled the sleeves off and was met with my worst suspicion. His arms were littered in red marks of anger and distress. My heart sank and I took his hands into mine.

"ituldyusuh" he cried pulling his arms back. I threw the shirt on the ground and held him as he sobbed into my shoulder.

"Shhh. It's okay josh. I understand"

"yurtuhpredytouhndrstnd" he mumbled.

"But I do" I replied dryly. "Let's get these off" I ran to my dresser selecting a large shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I gently peeled off his shirt and replaced it with mine. I laid him back down, and after getting his permission, I replaced his ripped jeans with my sweatpants. I threw his soiled clothes  into the wash and began waiting for him to regain proper consciousness.