Muslimah Next Door { Editing }

{ 21 } The Truth

{ Saabira }

I have to get out of here. I feel like someone is watching me. I quickly pack my things in a small bag.

I'm going to go over to uncle Yusuf's. I haven't visited them or even heard from them since I moved.

I lock the door to my apartment and get into my car. I look around me to see if anyone is following me before driving off. It's so weird to think about how someone came into my apartment without them having any key. What if it's that person who was sending me those letters a few months ago?

I park my car on the side of the road and get out.

I should have called or something to let them know I was coming, but I was in shock mode so I didn't even think about it.

I knock on the door. No one answers. I knock again.

The door eventually opens and Yasin stands in the doorway there. I give him a silly smile and utter a 'Salam' which he replies with his own greeting. He moves away from the door, making way for me to get in.

I step in the house with my eyes trained on a familiar pair of eyes.

"Saabira?" he utters my name in a whisper that I could hear from where I was standing.

"Khalid," was the only thing I could utter.

My eyes get teary. All my life I was left with no family, but my brother was standing here. Right here and right in front of me. Can you imagine that?

I run towards him, hugging him tightly.

"You got out?" I asked him.

He nodded, frowning.

"I n-never was in jail," he mumbles.

Wow.

"What are you saying?" I say, getting slightly angry.

I'm his sister who he didn't see for 3 years! A girl who lost her parents and a brother at the same time with no one to take care of her.

"Khalid, what have you been doing all these years?" I ask as I take a step away from him.

"I was in London. A family took me in after mom and dad passed away," he said, reaching out to me. I step back.

"Let me guess, Yussif, you all knew about this. Huh?" I shout.

I'm angry. I was lied to! How dare they? Who do they think they are? To deprive me of family and then to keep secrets away from me!

"I was never in jail. Uncle Yussuf told you that just to hide up his secret, okay! So please don't get mad. I only found you last year and the job, the letters, the texts- that was all me. It was so hard finding you. When I did find you it was hard for me to enter your life again. So he made you believe I was in jail only so that you could forget about me!" Veins are popping out on both sides of his neck.

I look over at Yussuf, who was just shaking his head repeatedly. What secret is he talking about?

Why is my life getting harder each second? Why couldn't I just die that day too? Life is nothing without your parents.

I fall to the ground, giving up. I close my eyes, picturing my parents with me.

I feel an arm circle around me, hugging me close to them. When I open my eyes, my brother is lying on the floor next to me.

He sits up and takes my arm, pulling me with him. We stand back up together.

"I never forgot about you, Saabira. Never did I fall sleep without thinking about you, praying to Allah, making Dua just to see you again. You don't know how happy I was when I did," he said in one breath.

I shake my head repeatedly, just like Yussuf did.

This just doesn't make sense. They're all still hiding something. There is something missing, I can still feel it.

"Why did they separate us?" I asked.

"Yussuf separated us just so you could be married to Yasin and cover his dirty little secret," he looks at Yusuf with nothing but hate in his eyes.

Married to Yasin? Secret?

I knit my eyebrows together, confused yet again.

"I'm somewhat engaged to someone already. Yasin is like a brother, I wouldn't even marry him," I shook my head in denial. What is he even talking about?

"Ouch. Jee, thanks," I heard Yasin mutter behind me. I just ignored him, although I was going to apologize after I get this mess sorted out.

"Do you know how mom and dad died?"  Khalid got in front of me, placing both of his hands on each side of my shoulder.

"Y-yeah a-a c-c-car ac-accident," I stutter. My eyes get teary, remembering the memories that I tried so hard to forget.

I was there with them in the car. It was my fault. I could have just waited for the present my father was holding in his hand while mother was driving. Instead, I was yelling and my father hates it when someone yells. I remember him getting angry, and then we were sinking. In water. That's it. It may seem so little to others, but to me, it was a lot to remember. I remember nothing else that happened in past. Yes, I may have a few past memories of them and my life before that accident but I'm thankful I don't have all of the car accident memories. I wouldn't want to witness my parents dying again in my nightmares. I can't even remember half of my life for some odd reason I don't even know.

Even if I try remembering, I can't. I just can't, no matter what. That's one of the things that don't make sense.

What happened to my memory?

Why does it hurt my head every time I try to remember that night?

See, that's what I don't like about life. It gives you questions to ask but never a simple answer.

"Saabira? You there?" A hand waves in front of my face.

I weakly smile up at my brother.

"Saabira, there are things you don't know. You don't actually know much about the accident," he mumbles, loud enough for me to hear.

I nod once again.

"Yeah, I know, so what is it, huh? It seems like this is getting worse by the second. Tell me something, just one, even if it's the only thing that's good!" I look at all of them, but they all avoid my gaze.

I turn to Yasin, only to find that his eyes are in a staring competition with the floor, almost as though he could see a person staring back at him.

"There's nothing good that comes out of our past. If you want to hear one good thing- uh- the only one that matters is that I love you, Saabira. You're not alone in this. I may not have been there for you for the past years, but I'm here now," he grabs my head gently and presses his lips on my forehead.

I step away from my brother and take a deep breath, knowing that for once, I'm getting answers. They might not be something I want to hear, but it's something I've been waiting for.

All these years were nothing but pain. Believe me, I kept it inside for a long time. I tried to act like everything was fine.

I said, "I'm fine." In reality, I wasn't. Sometimes people do that.