I feel so lost and confused right now... and to be honest as I write this up I'm wondering why I am telling this to basically the world... and the wattpad community. Too that I know no answer, I really don't, but I need to get how I feel out there.
I pretty much hate myself, which I believe has been established and in the last few weeks I've only grown more confused about who exactly I am and want to be.
It's so hard to find your true self when you just wanna fit in. I know my friends would except for who I am, but at the same time I'm worried they might judge me.
That is IF I KNEW WHO I WAS.
I look in the mirror and just wonder who is looking back at me, there are so many different people in there.
I'm also afraid people won't let me express who I am... what if who I turn out to truly be is someone "adult figures" like... sure I'll blow them off, piss them off... but at the same time I don't wanna be yelled at everyday and grounded for the rest of my 4 years at home. DAMN... I wish they could just understand sometimes who people are aren't who you want them to be.
*sigh* Well on top of that, I made a tiny mark on my skin, sure I don't think it technically counts as cutting myself, but at the same time it does... the only reason I don't cut myself is because I don't think it's the answer and because my friends keep telling me not too... it can be addictive. DAMN AGAIN.
I wish I was a little kid again, care free and innocent. I knew exactly who I was when I was 8.
Don't think I make this stuff up either... seriously, why would I? That's stupid and would just make the fakiest fake in the world.
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![[Un]Pretty](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/393451-64-k861411.jpg)