Stupid

chapter 21

21.    Home

Bo and I waved at Loki as we drove away. I chewed on my thumb and looked out the window, I felt as if I was going to cry.

“I don’t trust him” Bo blurted out, his voice dripped with venom.

I looked at him, I went to protest but all I did was let out a shaky breath. I felt the warmth of tears slide down my face and I couldn’t help but sob. Bo looked at me then pulled the car over. We were only a few metres down the road from Loki’s place.

“Hey, hey it’s alright” Bo leaned over and hugged me, rubbing my back.

I went to pull away but he pulled me back again and I cried harder on his shoulder. My cheeks stung from fresh tears and my heart ached. I didn’t know Marcus had meant this much to me until now.

It took a little while but Bo eventually got me to calm down, “Sorry Bo, I didn’t mean to break down like that” I pulled my sleeves over my hands and wiped at my eyes.

Bo smiled sadly at me, “I didn’t know telling you how I felt would have mad you cry like that”

I looked at him and tried to return the smile, but my lips refused to budge. “I’m not upset because of that”

“Then what’s upsetting you? Did Marcus do something” He looked at me angrily and protective. Bo was always protective of me and I always thought he was just jealous that I wasn’t paying attention to him but I know understood he just cared for my well-being.

“It’s not what he did, it’s what he didn’t do” I paused for a second and Bo waited for me to continue, “When they were holding me captive, he would check on me regularly to see if I was okay. He would let me out to walk around for a while or take me to his room so I would be more comfortable than in the cell. He even helped me escape. Then last night he seemed so affectionate towards me and when he left today… He just walked out Bo” I looked at him, then realised I had started to cry again. “I don’t even know why I just feel this connection with him and when he didn’t even bother to say good bye… I don’t even know, I don’t want to talk about this anymore” I put my head in my hands and tried to calm myself down. Bo watched me then subtly rubbed my shoulder. He put his other hand on the side of the steering wheel and started up the car.

“I don’t know what to say to you Lauren” Bo looked straight out the windscreen as he drove. “I didn’t know you cared that much for him”

I didn’t say anything; I felt as if anything I said right now could lead to tears, so Bo went on, “I don’t think that you understand he is a bad guy. He’s only here to make sure I pay up. And now that I have you back they have nothing to hold against me. I don’t understand why he even let you escape, don’t get me wrong I am so happy to have you back” Bo sighed heavily, “I think he was toying with your emotions, you know. So it would be easier to convince you to go back with him”.

My heart thundered in my chest, I realised that it all had just been a game for him. I thought I was going to break down crying, but I just sat there staring out the windscreen with a blank expression on my face. I didn’t know what to feel anymore.

~

Bo stayed with me until it was getting dark; he wanted to make sure it was safe for me to stay here, which I thought was silly considering it was my own home. He tried countless time to convince me to go to his house tonight, just in case. But I turned him down. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but home.

I waved at Bo through the window as he drove out of my drive way. I waited until I couldn’t see the head lights on the car then went to have a shower. I stood under the warm water the bounced off my shoulders and my head then eventually dripped down to my toes. The warm water stung the deep cuts on my torso; I ran my fingers gently across the cuts and grooves. Anger began boiling inside of me. He never even tried to stop this. I pushed all thoughts of him out of my head; I didn’t want to think about him anymore. I turned off the shower and got dried and dressed into my night gown. It fell loosely below my knees. My hair was still wet and the long dark curls draped down and bounced on my collar bone. I walked down the hallway towards my bedroom. It was pitch black and I had to put my hands out in front of me to guide myself. I felt my hands press on the wall and then my bedroom door. I slid my hand down the door towards the door handle but something strong and alive was already gripping the door knob. I screamed as a hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me away from my bedroom. I panicked and set random punches and kicks out into the air around me, but none of them made contact.

“Calm down before you hurt yourself!” The lights flicked on and I could see clearly. Marcus stood in my hallway, his eyes locked onto mine, “We need to talk”

I felt my breath catch in my throat, I was so happy to see him but I wanted to yell at him for just leaving me. I wanted to scream at him for toying with my emotions. I opened my mouth to protest but he tilted my chin up and brushed his warm lips across mine. Delightful chills shot through me and my mouth trembled at his touch. I shut my eyes and my eyelashes touched his. He stopped kissing me and rubbed my shoulders while looking directly at me, “You can’t stay here, it’s not safe for you. You should have went back with Bo”

I furrowed my eyebrow, “Wait how long have you been in my house?”

“When I left Loki’s house this morning I came straight here” He puts his hands down by his side, “I’m sorry for leaving you without saying anything, I didn’t want to make Bo mad”

“Why didn’t you just go home?” He was so close to me I could feel the heat radiating off his body.

“Because…” He shifted slightly, “I wanted to make sure you got home safe”

“Why wouldn’t I be safe?”

He looked at me with a gentle smile, his eyes filled with love and happiness, “It doesn’t matter”

I tried to ask more questions but he pulled me close to him, he pressed himself to me and kissed me tenderly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he flicked of the lights.