Anime ones shots

Levi x Depressed Reader

So I know I've already done a Makoto x Depressed reader but I thought I'd do a Levi x depressed reader. Hope you enjoy. Just remember there's always someone out there who cares about you, it'll all be okay in the end
-KawaiiAnimePhan <3

It was just another day in the Survey Corps, a day like any other. Another day of hell. You came back from the expedition and it had failed. Hundreds were dead, including some of your closest friends and family, not like it was a surprise to you. This happened all the time and you'd learned to get used to the pain to the point where you felt almost no emotion at all. Days flew by like an old movie montage of black and white. The same thing happened everyday, wake up, get ready, do training, fake a smile, get changed, go to bed, cry yourself to sleep. You were dealing with depression and nobody knew a thing.

-Time skip to waking up-
You sat up rubbing your eyes. "Guess I'd better get ready" you mumble, getting up out of bed. You stand up and begin putting your jeans on, you fasten them up before sliding your shirt on. You stare at the cuts which are covering your arms getting deeper as they near your wrists. Not that you cared. You could die tomorrow and it wouldn't make a difference, nobody would take a second look. That didn't surprise you anyway, you were worthless and that's it. You finish getting ready and make your way to the mess hall plastering a fake smile on your face as you entered.

You walk through the doors to be met with several chatters and whispers from other cadets. "She's such a bitch" "Ugh, she's a total liar" "Tch, What's wrong with her?" "Apparently she has some kind of mental illness" This was followed by a few giggles. "She's probably just doing it for attention" One girl said as the group erupted into laugher. You tried to ignore the comments, although inside you felt like breaking down.

"Hi (Y/N)!" Eren waved. You force a smile and wave back as you're greeted by your friends. You grab your food before sitting down with them. "Did you have a good sleep then?" Christa asks. "Yeah, it was alright" you lie. You got about 3 hours sleep last night, you actually spent most of the night crying and wondering why you were even here.
"So...are you eating that?" Sasha says pointing to your food. "Nah, you can have it, I'm not that hungry" you say as she thanks you and stuffs the food down. But the truth was you were hungry, starving in fact. You hadn't eaten in 2 days and it'd began to take an impact on you. Your body felt frail, you were very slim and your cheekbones were hollow, you were pretty much ready to give up on life.

-Time skip to training-
You arrived at training slightly late, and of course because the world hates you, you were partners with Levi. "Get ready brat!" He commands as you get into position to fight. Levi starts by throwing a punch which you quickly dodge, he then tries to send a kick at you but you jump out of the way. You decide its your turn to fight back so you launch a fist towards his face. He responds by grabbing your wrist as you wince in pain from the grip on your cuts and he slams your body to the ground. As you fall, your body slides across the rough surface opening some of the self inflicted cuts on your collarbone. You screech in pain grabbing the wounded area."Tch. Not good enough" Levi says walking away from you. Well then I guess I was right. Nobody cares about a brat like me, I should just end all the pain. You think as you get up and walk back to your room.

You arrive at your room and sit down on the bed staring at all your cuts on your collarbone, wrists and legs. 'She probably just doing it for attention' 'She really IS an idiot' 'She'll never be able to kill Titans if she can't even use 3DMG properly' 'Worthless shit' 'She's such a bitch' 'Tch. That's not good enough' the comments ring through your ears like bells. "I really can't do this anymore" you whisper, picking up a knife and the note you've written at least 4 times now and heading down the halls. "I guess I'll see him one last time before I go" you mutter as you walk through the empty halls.

You finally reach the door you were looking for and knock lightly. "State your name and business" a voice says through the door. "Cadet (Y/N) (L/N) Sir, here to give a message" you reply back. "Come in" he says loudly enough for you to hear him. You slowly open the door and make your way inside putting on yet another fake smile. You hide the knife behind your back and stand in front of his desk. "What are you waiting for Cadet?" He snaps looking up from his paperwork. "Sir, I just wanted to say goodbye" you smile gently. "Stop talking shit cadet (Y/N), I don't know what you're saying and wipe that stupid grin off your face" he says with a bored expression on his face. "Well, I wanted to say goodbye...for the last time. You see I don't deserve to be in this world, I shouldn't have the privilege of living here. So this will be the last time I'm seeing you Sir" you say still smiling."Look Cadet, I swear to god if this is another stupid prank I'll-" you cut him off. "Just read this, I promise it's not a prank" you say handing him the note.

Dear Levi, (Sorry for calling you that but I thought it was appropriate seeing as this is the last time I'll be seeing you)
I'm sorry I wasn't all that good at training, I wasn't the strongest, or the fastest, heck I could barely even use 3DMG at first. I'm sorry I wasn't the brightest, I wasn't the best at cleaning either and I got on your nerves. But I didn't mean to anger you. You see, I wrote this note to tell you to keep on living, please kill all the Titans to avenge the thousands of soldiers that were lost. I wish you good luck. I would like to request that you fill out my final wishes of telling all my friends and comrades that I love them, please tell them to get stronger and don't end up like me. One last thing Corporal, I know you may not return the feelings and to be honest I would prefer it if you didn't, I don't want you to be heartbroken when I'm gone. Levi, I love you. Therefore you will be the last person I'm going to talk to on this world. You will be my last goodbye before I'm gone. Thank you for everything Levi.
-Cadet (Y/N) (L/N)

You sigh quietly, continuing to explain. "I'm sorry Levi but I'm sick of hurting" He continues to stare at you, obviously shaken by your words. "I'm tired of the mean comments, the pointless arguments, the pain of losing friends. I don't want to hurt anymore, I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to be a disappointment to everyone. That's why I have to say goodbye." The man standing before you is now shaking with a look at fear painted on his face. "If I stay here, like this, things will get worse, and if I die fighting the titans I'll just cause others pain. I'm just an accident waiting to happen. And I'm sorry Levi, I really am. But almost everyone who I ever loved is gone. And now it's my time to follow. So this is my last goodbye" You suddenly begin tearing up. "Wow that's sounds cheesy." You laugh a little trying to stop the tears. "But I really am sorry"

He looked up at you with a mixture of shock and terror in his eyes. You smile sadly, pulling out the knife from behind you as you feel the tears which were previously waiting to fall, now streaming down your face. Levi suddenly snaps out of his trance when he sees the sharp object in your hands. "(L/N)! STOP! You listen here brat-" He yells standing up from his desk. "I'm sorry Levi but I can't keep going like this" you cut him off. "Do you have any idea what you're doing? Did you ever stop to think about other people's feelings? Think about you comrades! Your friends! Think about your parents! Think about ME!" He almost screams.

He suddenly starts sobbing into your shirt. "Listen to me (Y/N). I love you so please" The shorter man begs. "Put the goddamn knife down. That's an order." He says more seriously, taking the knife and throwing it to the ground. "I care about you (Y/N), I really do. In fact...fuck it. I love you (Y/N)" He says more softly. "And it's not just me. Think about your friends, Jeager, Arlert, Ackerman, Kirstein, Bodt, Springer and Braus. They all care about you, none of them would want to see you like this. So please, do it for them." The raven haired man strokes your arm comfortingly. "It's okay, I'll help you get better. You can do this. We can do this. Now I'm being the cheesy one, but you get the point" He laughs. "But promise me something" You nod gently. "Promise you won't hurt yourself like this ever again. Not as long as you live." "Okay" you say shakily.

The tables turn as you start crying into his chest. "Levi, I love you so much" you sob.
"I-I'm sorry for scaring you, I just t-thought I'd be better off dead" you keep crying as he pulls you into a warm hug. "Stop saying things like that about yourself" his voice is softer than before. "You're not worthless and you're definitely not better off dead" he whispered into your ear soothing you. "Hey, how about we get some sleep? You can stay with me tonight if you like" he says. "Okay" you sniff, and you both get into bed. He pulls you close, wrapping his arm around you as you bury your head into his chest.
"I love you (Y/N)" he whispers. "I love you more" you whisper back. "I don't think so, now stop doubting yourself" he says kissing your forehead gently. For once you give a genuine smile before you both fall asleep in each other's arms.