My sweet nerd | Iljae

Feelings

A few More pecks on my soft skin, Him sucking and kissing my neck , Our body heat rising, and our hearts exploding out of our chest. Is this what i want? Having my virginity taken away by someone who doesn't even know me? That someone that even i don't know about, even if i see him everyday. I don't even know if he truly 'loves me' like he claims and i don't even love him back. I could tell him to stop but the sensational feeling that he provides my body only makes me endure my worries. I don't want this. But i allow it. He was slowly caressing my hot body, His hand feeling like ice trying to cool me down. "mmm Minhyuk" i Heard his voice whisper in my ear, his breath tickling me. i always told myself that the day i have sex will be the day when i find myself a partner i trust and adore so i couldn't let myself go through with this. Before yongguk could go any further i stopped him in his tracks with a hand pushing his chest. "What's wrong?" He said out of breath. I got up from where i was laying and sat down on the bed, the red with white polka dot blanket covering my lower body.

"Look I'm sorry Bang, but i gotta say it. Bang, we just met for the first time a few days ago, a-and i don't know if this offends you but in reality...i don't know you at all! you don't know me! so i can't-mmh!" I was interrupted by the hard impact of yongguk pressing his lips on mine, His tongue moving aimlessly inside my mouth.

"Sorry. I just had to do it one more time." yongguk said still holding my shoulder as we both just sat there on the bed. "I know....You don't Love me the way i love you. And...I Spoke to some friends, they tell me that what i'm doing to you is not right and it's unfair-and-.." Yongguk paused for two seconds before looking down and not meeting my gaze. all of a sudden my heart was beating fast. I felt that what he is saying was honest and so i was scared. " What i'm trying to say is...even though i don't deserve it. but can you give me a chance?" Yongguk looked up his eyes burying inside me and urging me to whisper the words yes, almost like if he was making me. And now the choice is up to me. All i had to do was say 'yes' or 'no.' yes, to enlighten his heart and no, to rip it into pieces!

I gulped down, as i sat there debating to myself, A lot of questions roamed around my head. and i had to answer here and now. i dare look into his eyes and tell him my response.

" I..."

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"Ugh. you're such a kid!!!"

'I know! hahahahahah"

"Aish seriously." ilhoon who was sitting on a Huge smoothe, gray rock, ate,  and just kept complaining about sungjae running around. One thing that sungjae liked to do in this river as a kid was to run around and feel the breeze blowing his bangs in the air. Some of the students thought he was crazy because he was laughing and playing by himself. Sungjae thought that if ilhoon and himself stopped and rested at this river, their moods from today's earlier 'situation' would get better, but unfortunately sungjae was the only one who was excited. And although sungjae didn't notice it, but ilhoon's cranky mood did change because looking at sungjae filled his stomach with butterflies. Ultimately sungjae stopped and sat next to ilhoon on the smooth rock to rest, Ilhoon enjoyed overhearing each breathe sungjae took. It only made him think erotic thoughts. "See? you're too old to be running around in circles." ilhoon said.

"if you exercise enough, running for 3 minutes would seem nothing" Sungjae responded huffing, his heart burning and pumping blood. He was glad that the gap between him and ilhoon disappeared and that they can have a normal conversation without disliking each other but there is not a day where ilhoon doesn't stop thinking about the peck he gave sungjae at the amusement park, and to this very day he still asks himself the same question. Why did he do it? And why couldn't he prevent it? so far the only thing ilhoon could think about as a reason is that he was very lonely and needed affection. Ilhoon's thoughts were interrupted when sungjae laid his soft head on ilhoon's firm shoulders. The only thing that ilhoon could feel and hear is his own heart beat bumping and bumping, faster and faster, his cheeks getting hotter and hotter.