Avengers Preferences

One Shot: What We Love Most

Before we begin I would like to take a moment to extend my condolences to young lady who requested this one shot. This one is personalized just for her. If you would like something similar send me a private message to work out the details.

@Mambo_girl

One Shot 7

On the day I found out I was pregnant I was overcome with joy and love, and just a tiny bit of fear. My loving Husband Steve nearly fainted when I told him, and actually fainted when we found out there were two of them! But all was well, and we were not afraid.

I remember very clearly, the car ride home from the doctors office that day, and making three very important phone calls. The first to my grandparents they're going to have their first great grandbabies! My grandpa cried when he heard the news. Next I called my parents my mother was ecstatic! And finally I called my Uncle. My family was so happy for me, I felt truly blessed that day.

The months seemed to slip by as my belly swelled. Steve pampered me to no end, seeing to my every need. My family came by our apartment often bringing me family photo albums and baby clothes.

But happiness is only a temporary state of being. Life gives and takes. I have always heard those old proverbs but I never really heeded them until the 8th month of my pregnancy.

Steve and I were relaxing in our living room when the phone rang. Steve marked the page in his book and went to the kitchen to answer the phone. I did not get up, because that is way too much effort.

In the other room I could hear Steve answering the phone, my curiosity got the better of me so I placed my book on my swollen stomach and listened.

"Hello, Rogers residents," he answered. "Hey mom," he said. It had taken so long for Steve to feel comfortable calling my parents Mom and Dad.

"Oh..." His voice dropped. "Oh no. I... I ugh, hold on a second," my heart sank a little

"Honey," Steve called out to me. I stood up and waddled into the kitchen. He handed me the phone and guided me into a chair.

"Mom?" My voice trembles and I held my belly for comfort.

"Baby... I'm sorry. It's Uncle J," her voice cracks and I can hear her trying to hold back sobs.

"Wh-what happened?" I can't hide the shaking in my voice. Steve kneels beside me, and holds me close.

"He had a heart attack,"

I could hear no more of this, even from my mom. So I handed the phone to Steve and got up.

A little shocked Steve tried to talk to my mom, while I stood up and hobbled out of the kitchen.

I'm not sure what I felt. A sort of emptiness in my heart, and a pit in my stomach. I felt off balance, well more so than usual with my enlarged abdomen.

Steve came out of the kitchen, only to find me sitting on the floor next to the couch. Half staring at the wall and half crying. He sinks down beneath me and pushes his strong arms under mine. He holds me tenderly and we weep together.

Pregnancy and post passing depression don't go together. The constant need to be moving or sitting makes mourning very difficult.

Steve is wonderful through the whole ordeal. Helping me get around, and sit down. He always lets me cry on his shoulder, because God knows I need it.

10 days exactly after finding out that Uncle J passed away, I got another phone call. This time I happened to be sitting in the kitchen while Steve was cooking so I answered.

"Rogers residents,"

The only thing I heard on the other end was intense sobbing. I got that falling sensation you get on roller coasters, or going down big hills.

"Steve," I cried out in fear. He turned to me and I could already see the sadness in his sweet eyes.

"Mama?" I asked into the phone, Steve offered me his hand and I gripped it. Hoping it would ground me to consciousness.

"Grandpa Willem, he's passed away too,"

I let out a howl of pain, as my heart contracted. This must be what dying feels like, I think.

Steve finishes up with my mom once again because now I am just a sobbing mess. Steve scoops me up and brings me to our room.

We embrace each other and cry once again. When we are all cried out he whispers to me, "They're going to have a joint funeral next week,"

"I am going to give a eulogy,"

He doesn't protest, only nods. Although Steve is holding me in his arms, I feel for the first time, very alone in the world.

At the funeral Steve holds my head as he helps me up to the podium to give the eulogy. My overstretched stomach heavily weighing me down.

Half way through my speech I had to sit down because my back felt like it might snap and I was crying too much to stand up straight.

My relatives wanted Steve and I to stay for the small reception, but I didn't feel good so instead we went home.

My due date was approaching quickly, and I was most definitely ready to hold my babies in my arms. I think Steve was pretty ready too.

Finally the day arrived, I spent 27 hours in the delivery room screaming my head off and sobbing hysterically. Finally finally finally, I heard the sound of crying babies. Loud and shrill, two little voices making themselves known in this big world. And suddenly I didn't feel so alone.

The doctor placed both of them in my arms and I could stop the smile spreading on my face.

We named them after my Uncle and Grandfather. Jeroen and Willem.