Primarily Yours

Chapter Eight

Why did he have to be such an idiot? Why did he have to know about Dave's weird secret? He didn't know what hurt worse- Dave's clear anger at being accused of liking guys or Dave's sheer distrust of him. God, he had messed up.

Karkat was really going to lose his s-t now.

A new message! He had a faint flutter of hope- Dave, coming to apologize?

No.

Of course not.

It was just... Jade

GG: john what did you do!!

He groaned, not ready to deal with her anger too. John slammed his laptop shut, closing off his friends. Hopefully they would have the good sense to leave him alone IRL too.

John needed some Nicholas Cage therapy. He turned to the TV in his room and flicked on Con Air.

Man, Cage was so cool.

Almost instinctively, he reached for the small stuffed bunny he'd gotten for his last birthday. It was one of a pair- two identical toys given by his new friends. One was battered and bruised, which Dave claimed was the original bunny in Con Air.

This was probably total bs, but it still comforted him to hold it as he watched the familiar movie. Even if Dave was mad at him, he had this reminder of their friendship.

John spent the next few hours in movie bliss, hugging the bunny tightly (even if it was pretty silly for someone his age to be doing it). His concerns drizzled away into nothingness, if only for a moment.

Then that all vanished in a puff of smoke when he heard someone knocking on his door.

Calm down, John. It could just be Dad, wondering how you are. It's not necessarily Rose, Jade...

Oh? It was just his dad.

"John, are you okay? There's someone here to see you."

He grumbled under his breath, but John wasn't the type of person to blow off his friends. Sad or not, he felt like he had a duty to see them.

His dad stepped aside, and an unfamiliar face stared at John. His gray eyes narrowed.

"I'll leave you two alone." murmured Mr. Egbert. Sure, he was a good dad, but he had been a bit distant lately. John suspected he'd been seeing someone else, but since his dad didn't pry into his life John had decided to let him be.

"Um... who are you again?" asked John nervously. This strange red-haired stranger looked ready to beat him up.

"I'm Karkat, you hemorrhoid."

"Oh no, not you."

"I don't have time to deal with your mindless buffoonery when the s-t is currently hitting the fan. You really f-ed it up, you realize that? Dave messaged me blabbing about how terrified he is that someone's found out his secret. I hate dealing with his c-ck-sucking fear but it was the least I can do."

John stared at him, blinked momentarily.

"Those were... a lot of words."

This seemed to please Karkat. "They certainly were. I like to think of myself as a poet of profanity." The tiny hint of a smile dropped off his freckled face in a flash- a scowl had returned to its usual place.

"Listen, Dave may be a bundle of f-ery wrapped in a pair of sunglasses, but I still care about him. I can't have someone like you who's trying to take my place messing it all up. If Dave can't admit to himself that he has a huge lust for d-cks, that's his problem and not mine. It's certainly not the problem of a meddling twat like you either."

Something about this guy almost made John love him.

Almost.

"Karkat, I'm sorry things went badly, but I need to ask."

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing at my house?"

His gray eyes- such a contrast to his flaming red hair- momentarily gleamed. "Well I couldn't just let everything go to h-ll in a handbasket and not try and help, could I? Dave is a sodding a-wad, but someone's gotta help him."

His grimace deepened. "Unfortunately, Rose is too wrapped up in Kanaya to care."

"Wait- what?" asked John frantically. "You mean like-"

"I mean they're dating, f-wit dictator."

Not another surprise! He couldn't take this right now!

"She didn't tell you? I guess being a secretive wanker runs in the family."

"Yeah," growled John bitterly. "I guess it does."

"But anyways, John, I didn't just come here to cuss you out (although it is fun). I came here to try and help. I need yours too."

"Why not just ask Jade?" he grumbled.

"Because Jade doesn't know about me. She doesn't know about me and Dave. No one did- except Kanaya- and she told Rose. And Rose told you. I can't add Jade to that list or Dave will really lose his marbles."

"Fine..." Anything to help Dave- even if he was a 'secretive wanker' and a 'sodding a-wad'. "What do you want me to do?"

"Well, I've thought up something. But we'll need to bring in a few friends of mine."

"Are your friends are charming as you?"

"Is anyone as charming as me?"