Primarily Yours

Chapter Seven

He spent the next few hours with Jade, talking about everything and nothing to get Dave off his mind. Mindless talking over nothing important relaxed him in a way Dave or Rose couldn't do. He loved them both, but they could be so painfully serious sometimes. Jade, though, had a light-heartedness that they just couldn't match.

However, he figured that Jade would be getting bored of his company eventually- and he'd been gone for so long that his dad might be worried. So he politely excused himself and walked home quickly, eager to try and talk to Dave.

After all, girlfriend or no girlfriend, John still loved his best friend.

EB: dave, dude, bro. you sleeping off that hangover or what? it's like 12 pm

John stared anxiously at his screen, willing for a reply. Please? Anybody?

A message popped up, one John jumped at to receive. Wait- he didn't recognize that name...

CG: YOU INSOLENT F-KWAD. KANAYA TOLD ME ABOUT THE SNOOPING YOU'VE BEEN DOING.

EB: woah dude, who are you? is your caps lock broken?

CG: I PREFER TO SPEAK IN A MANNER BEFITTING MY UNENDING ANGER YOU IGNORAMUS

EB: are you a troll or something? is this a prank?

CG: I AM NOT A TROLL, I'M A PERSON. A VERY ANGRY ONE. KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF DAVE'S PAST.

EB: shit. are you... karkat? dave's ex?

CG: DAMN RIGHT I AM A-C-CK. AND I BROKE UP WITH HIM THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU LEAVE THAT SHIT ALONE. IT'S OVER NOW.

EB: i wasn't trying to pry, it was just surprising to learn that dave liked guys

CG: HE DOESN'T

EB: what?

CG: APPARENTLY OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS JUST A TEST. DAVE DUMPED ME BECAUSE HE SAID HE DIDN'T LIKE GUYS.

CG: OF COURSE THAT ISN'T HOW IT SEEMED WHEN WE WERE F-ING

EB: wait, you had sex with dave?!

CG: NO. THAT WAS JUST A JOKE. WE NEVER DID THAT STUFF.

EB: not a very funny joke

CG: ANYWAYS I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU TO KEEP YOUR ENORMOUS BLOATED -SS OUT OF MY GODD-MNED BUSINESS. DAVE WOULDN'T WANT YOU SNOOPING EITHER.

EB: dave is my friend. i figured i deserve to know if he has some weird secret gay lover.

CG: I TOLD YOU, DAVE ISN'T GAY. DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT GIRL THAT HE HAS HANGING ALL OVER HIM. SHE'S ONE UGLY B-H.

EB: don't insult jade! she's beautiful!

CG: SHE PALES IN COMPARISON TO MY STEAMING SEXINESS.

EB: you sound kinda bitter about this

CG: MAYBE I AM S-TBUCKET. MAYBE I AM.

EB: well this has been weird.

John leaned away from the screen, looking dejected, then closed his laptop. He certainly didn't trust Karkat, whoever he was, but what if he was right?

What if Dave really was straight?

It hurt more than he thought it would- given a tiny flicker of hope, only to have it crushed. Still- there was something odd about what Karkat said- about why Dave had left him.

Was Dave just worried about looking "gay"? Was he so concerned about reputation that he'd end a relationship based on possible backlash? John didn't think Dave was that kind of guy, but he was learning fast that there was a lot about his friend he didn't know.

TG: hey man did you get any action after that hot date with my sis

Speak of the devil.

EB: gross, man. that's your sister you're talking about

TG: well it was a pretty hot date after all

TG: i think jade and i did a good job of setting the mood

EB: by setting the mood do you mean making out in front of us?

TG: maybe

TG: but seriously did you guys have fun

TG: i really hope you did because it was expensive as shit

EB: i had a great time, dave. its always great to hang out with friends even if said friends are slobbering on each other and themselves

TG: yeah im sorry rose got like that

TG: she never drinks

TG: i promise she wont do it again

EB: don't stress over it, i talked to her about that anyways

John looked nervously at his keyboard, wondering if he should ask the question burning in his mind. Despite profanity-ridden warnings to leave the issues alone, he couldn't stop wondering about just what happened between Dave and Karkat.

EB: actually, something pretty weird happened before you messaged me

TG: what happened dude

EB: i got a message from a guy named CG. called himself karkat. typed in ALL CAPS AND SWORE A WHOLE FUCKING LOT. do you know him?

He waited, anxiety building pressure like a bomb about to explode. Sweat beaded down his forehead as his thoughts ran wild, wondering just what he would say. Why was he taking so long? Was he-

TG: nope dont know him

TG: sounds pretty interesting though

TG: what did he want with you

EB: actually, he wanted to talk about you

John wasn't sure whether to pat himself on the back or punch himself for his sheer courage/idiocy. This might just blow up in his face.

TG: talk about my sick blog or my awesome shades probably

EB: no, dave. not about that

TG: then what then cuz thats like 90% of my personality as it is

He couldn't hide his smile- even if he was furious at him, Dave still had charm.

EB: dave. he said you two dated.

TG: listen john i dont know what the fuck youre talking about but i suggest you shut up about it

TG: i wouldnt date a guy you know that

TG: thats just not me okay id never do that not ever

EB: dave, it's okay

TG: no john

TG: its not okay

TG: listen i just wanted to talk about dates and s-t but you come and bring up all this stuff that needs to be forgotten

TG: f-k off john

EB: wait!

TG: i dont need this s-t right now im gonna go be with jade

TG: at least she knows not to spy on me

Oh god. He'd really f-ed up now.