Railroad

Chapter 5: Punish

Rayon’s statement blew my mind. I was shocked.  I was deeply angered, but mostly because he was right, reality is going to hit me hard. Even though his statement was right, it didn’t click in my head correctly. So, I did the one thing that I could think of. I yelled; probably yelled loud enough for the world to shake.

“You know what Rayon, fuck you!”

“Excuse me?” He said, cocking his head to the side, surprised at my outburst.

“You heard me. Melanie will wake up, and when she does, I’ll forget about you, I swear I will Rayon.” I screamed at him.

“No, Chresanto.” He said and took a moment. “No, you know what? Fuck you. I treated you like a brother. I gave you food and water. I even let you stay here for a few months and you took advantage of that. Stealing from us, raising up our bills.” Rayon shook his head as I looked down in guilt. “Yeah I noticed Chresanto, I just didn’t say anything because I felt bad for you and I believed in second chances. But seconds turned into thirds and fourths and fifths and now Chres, now, I’m tired.” He spat, “Tired of all your bullshit.”

“You think I didn’t treat you like a brother, I’ve saved your ass multiple times” I screamed back.

“Yeah, but look where that got you Chres. It turned you into a lunatic. A monster.”

“I’d rather be a monster than a little bitch.” I said in return. I shouldn’t have said that. I really shouldn’t have said that. Rayon looked at me, his eyes tearing up memories running through.

“Get out of my apartment” He said. I looked to my left and saw that Akeli was in the doorway holding Ally in worry, while Ally seemed to be crying. I started walking towards the door, grabbing my jacket.

“And Chres,” I turned around to Rayon, “I want you to remember. Remember that I have more than you ever will, even though I may be a “little bitch’”

With that I left, not knowing who was in the wrong. Rayon and I have gotten into arguments, fights, but I don’t think any argument has ever dug a grave that deep.

I slid into the car and was worried. Worried that I lost the friends I had left. If Rayon wouldn’t talk to me, Akeli might not either. I can’t live in this world alone, or all the love I’ve had for anyone or anything in this world will disappear.

My anger at Rayon at the moment was something I expected to feel against Jacob, not my closest friend.

February 17: Detention

The day after going over to Akeli’s was Saturday. That meant Saturday detention, for setting Anji’s weave on fire. Freakin’ wonderful. My alarm went off at 8:00 so I could get to school by 9:00 and get out by 12:00. I got up and did the usual morning routine, picking out a comfortable pair of grey sweat pants, a plain white and red t shirt, and my worn out red converse, afterward brushing my teeth. When I went downstairs, Veronica was knocked out on the couch, 6 beer bottles surrounding her on the floor. Nothing new in this house, nothing new at all. I kicked around a beer bottle as I went into the kitchen, picking out a green apple and a bottle of water, heading out the door.