The Essence of Noah (Muslim story)

Tan-Lines

When I see Noah out on the balcony, I hesitate; conflicted by my morals and a new sensation of tingling emotions that buzz in my body at his sudden appearance. As I stare out the glass doors at him and ponder upon my options. I feel my will wither and I bite on my cheek as I walk to the door and unlock it. The 'click-clack' sound echoes throughout my apartment and presumably makes its way onto the balcony, gathering Noah's attention. His gaze meets the door handle first, then works its way up to my face, on which I've mustered a small smile that I mentally hope looks genuine and not embarrassingly strained.

"Hi." I step out on the cool balcony, my slightly warm toes stinging as they come in contact with the chilly cement flooring.

"Hi." He nods his head, his lips carrying a simple smile, one you would barely notice it weren't for the slight creases by his lips. "You did your food shop?"

"Yeah." I play with the fraying ends of my scarf as I approach the separating banisters with a mere gap between the two balconies.

"Cool." I nod my head, as I feel a thick hanging layer of awkwardness between us which instantly makes me regret acting on instinct than rationality.

"Yep." I press my lips together to avoid pronouncing the popping sound. I move my jaw from side to side slowly and look anywhere but directly at Noah. He chuckles softly. I hear him and I feel slightly better knowing that at least one of us isn't too overcome by the awkwardness.

"I take it you're not busy anymore."

"No." I shake my head as Noah focuses his stare on me. He nods his head twice before leaning away from the banisters and digging both his hands into his pockets.

"So?" He asks as he brings a hand up to his hair and pushes it away from his eyes. As he does so, I try to refrain from letting a frown fall on my face. 'So?' What does he mean by 'so'? It's not the word, it's how he said it; carelessly with a slight hint of disinterest that presses down on my brow and forces me to frown, to feel offended.

I try to think of something to say, to either lighten the mood or retaliate, but nothing worthy of saying comes to mind and so I make do with a shrug and turn away to face the pathetic view than stare offended at him for longer. Silence accompanies his last words for a while, as I ponder when would be a good time to turn back and walk inside. My decision to come out here was wrong and I can't help but think that this embarrassment is perhaps a light 'punishment' for doing so.

From my side, I can see Noah mimic my stance, though his hands come up to his hair and push it back before rubbing the back of his neck harshly. I hear him exhale loudly and I think that maybe he's annoyed. At me? At himself?

"I think I owe you an apology." My frown deepens slightly, as I turn to him.

"What for?" I continue to bite down on my cheek as I hear him out.

"I didn't forget about meeting you out here a few days ago, I lost track of time." He licks his lips before pressing them to avoid the smile that's trying to penetrate across his cheeks.

"That's very original." I smile gently, the frown easing off my face slowly. Noah chuckles lightly, having now broken the tension.

"I'm sorry." He says.

"It's okay." I shrug as I avoid looking directly at him. I hadn't thought much about that day; I had seen him studying and excused him for it.

"Do you want to talk now?" Noah indicates to the floor as he lets his arm dangle from the banister. I nod my head silently as I squat and sit, letting my legs dangle between the metal bars freely. "It feels like it's been a while since we've done this." He sits down facing me and lets his legs hang. His cargo shorts pool above his knees as they fit between the thin spaces of each metal pole, revealing distinct tan lines above each knee where his tanned legs fade into paleness. I realise I may be staring for too long and so I blink a few times and shift before looking away.