Gangster Love

Gangster Love (Part Seventeen)

We were now upstairs in the bedroom, she watched me intensely as I paced up and down the room trying to think of way to tell her. I knew this day would come but I didn't think it would have come so soon, nor did I think it would have been this hard.

I finally stopped pacing and I took a seat beside her on the bed, she reached out and held my hand. She then turned my face to face her and she looked deep into my eyes and she whispered.

Kemmie- Baby it cant be that bad.

I closed my eyes and thought of what to say and as I began to think I realised that Kemmie never knew I knew Shantay, and as I thought more about the situation I realised that I had put my family in danger by messing with her. If I hadn't been feeling sorry for myself and allowed myself to get caught up in the moment that night at the party none of this would have ever happened.

She had come looking for me and decided that because she couldn't have me she'd try and destroy what I loved the most. That angered me, the fact that she had taken advantage of someone vulnerable at the time, someone I loved more than life itself; it made my blood boil and I knew right at that moment that I didn't regret what I had done to her. Because where I come from its an eye for an eye ....

Me- I killed her Kemmie.

She was silent for a bit, still firmly holding my hand.

Kemmie- Rion, what are you talking about baby?

Me- Shantay, the girl that hurt you and put you into hospital I killed her. I knew Shantay, I had met her a party and Slim introduced us. We got to talking, she knew my brother and she was telling me about how they knew each other and etc. Then one thing turned into another and I ended up back at her place and we did our thing.

I was lonely Kemmie, I felt like at the time you had no use for me I was just another person in your life helping you through your difficult time, all you wanted was Drake and I cant lie I was jealous and I know it sounds wrong because his not here and I am but I felt like I was dead the more I tried the more you pushed me away like you had no use for me, but I never gave up because I loved you and as much as I'd have liked to walk away and say fuck it I couldn't because my love for you wouldn't let me.

I never felt anything for her, she made me feel good for a few minuets and after it was done things went back to normal and when I left her house and made my way back to the ends I was still just Clumzy, no one special. I'd have given anything for it to have been you, I only beat her twice and after the second time I just couldn't do it anymore. In a way I felt like I was betraying you, if I loved you as much as I said I did then why was I there laying in another chicks bed. You wasn't officially mine yet but in my head you was, and I couldn't do it anymore.

I made the decision to wait for you, for as long as it would take. I knew you'd come around eventually but all I had to do was wait and I loved you that much, that I waited. And I made a promise to myself that there would be no more girls, my main focus was you and Dj and trying to fix up the place we were going to live in and I made it my priority. But though I was ready to close the chapter on her, she wasn't.

She kept phoning and phoning and eventually she called me and told me she got raped, to this day I don't know if it was true but I don't think anyone should have to go through that. And I decided to go there and to see if she was ok, when I went there she told me she was in love with me and I told her no she'd only seen me twice, we'd never even had a proper conversation.

I left her house and I hadn't seen her again, she even stopped calling eventually. Then she hurt you, her friend told me how she'd seen me and Slim in KFC and followed us back to the ends they followed us up to the block and they watched as me and you stood outside and had a convo.