I'll Kiss the Pain Away (Leico/Valdangelo)

Chapter 10- We're All Fucked Up

Leo's POV

It was another day and I decided to go with Nico to my Tía's therapy. He really seemed to like the recovery group idea so that's what happened today. Everything was okay until halfway through it. We were all talking about our favorite things and lucky numbers for some reason and some kid said his lucky number was five. Nico twitched at that. Then he continued saying how it was the best and luckiest number ever and how amazing the number five was. Nico gripped my hand a little tighter.

"Hey, give Josie a turn to talk." I say.

"Aw c'mon I wasn't done." Lukas whined.

"Oh hush. No one cares about five." Josie chuckles.

Lukas rolled his eyes, shutting his mouth.

Sometimes I forget why we're actually all here. I'd think that we're normal teens talking about normal things. Then I'd remember where I was and why. Memories would flood my mind. Sometimes they won't be me. They'd be of everyone else.

Josie had been kidnapped. Stuck with these terrible people for three months. Now she'd burst into tears if someone mentioned leaving her alone for even a few minutes. I was glad she was okay as long as she was with someone.

Lukas was another story. He and his girlfriend had gotten into a car wreck, she was killed on impact. He kept blaming himself for what happened even though it was the other cars fault. Depression struck hard on him. Now if you pull up his sleeves, he has her name as a big scar.

Cassidy doesn't talk much. You don't hear from her often. It took a while for us to know her story. Someone had broken into her house, killing off her family. She somehow survived a bullet to the chest and called for help. Now she stays with her abusive aunt who blames her for what happened. She shows up with new bruises every time.

Adrien though. He was a disaster. There's a reason he's our supervisor and that he works here. It gives me shivers just thinking about what happened to him. It's terrifying. He lives a stable life. He has a nice girlfriend and makes good money and is sane. Gosh. He's ordinary. I feel so bad.

Please note that was all sarcasam.

I was snapped back into reality when Nico laid his head on my shoulder. I smile and he looks up at me innocently.

"Oh here we go." Josie rolls her eyes.

"PDA!" Lukas grins.

"Guys hush." Adrien said. "Focus please. I'm going to ask you each a few questions and you answer yes or no."

We nodded and listened up.

"Nico. Do you feel okay and safe here with us?" He asks.

"Yes. I trust you guys." Nico says.

"How about in general?"

"No."

"Why is that?"

Nico was quiet, looking down.

"Nico?"

"I-I can't say." He whispers.

"That's alright." Adrien assures.

He went around asking the same two questions. Do we feel safe and fine here vs just in general. Everyone said yes to being here but we all said no to the second part.

Josie was scared those people would find her again if she's left alone.

Lukas isn't alright cause he thinks of his dead girlfriend everytime he gets into a car.

Cassidy doesn't feel safe as long as she's stuck living with her aunt.

I know me and Nico weren't safe as long as Luke and Ethan were still being assholes. I also knew that that's not the only reason Nico said no.

~time skippz~

After a while we all headed home. I had offered to drop Nico off since it'd be inconvenient for his mom or dad to drive all the way out here.

"It's cause I'm scared of myself." Nico sighs.

"What?" I ask.

"Why I don't feel alright outside of the group. I'm scared of myself."

I bit my lip, realizing how close we were to his house. I turn down another road and pull over by the woods.

"Leo why'd we stop?" He asks.

"C'mon." I say, getting out.

He does the same and I take him back to that clearing we went to on our first date. I sit down in the grass, pulling him down next to me.

"Talk to me." I say, arm around him.

"I- I'm weak Leo. I'm impulsive. I can't control myself sometimes." He says quietly.

I was silent, unsure how to respond.

"I have voices in my head Leo." He said.

I turn to look at him. "What-"

"How else am I supposed to explain it?" He asks, and I could see his eyes gloss over. "I have these stupid voices in my head telling me to kill myself and I'm scared I'm gonna cave in again and actually do it."

I pull him into a hug. "I won't let you. I swear. As long as I am with you I won't let anything bad happen. If it's in the middle of school or three in the morning, I will be right here waiting."

He started shaking and I just hold him tighter.

"Nico I love you so goddamn much and I refuse to let you get hurt."

My shirt got a little wet with his tears but I didn't care. He was with me. He's safe. He's mine.

"I love you too." He said.

-----------------
Yes this is late
Hush
Byee