Everything's An Illusion // Phan

4

TWO MONTHS & TWENTY EIGHT DAYS BEFORE
******************************************

Today, I didn't go to school. Instead, I woke up in a hospital bed with bright lights in my face. I didn't expect anyone to be there, but surprisingly; my father was pushed up against a white chair with his head down, and my mother was no where to be seen.

"Sir, he's awake." The doctor announced to my father, who lifted his head and looked at me, not showing much emotion,

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked, looking at my arms in disbelief.

"Well considering what I did last night, I don't think you should be asking me how I'm feeling," I said coldly, earning a glare from my father.

"Your mother is getting coffee at the moment," My father spoke up.

"So at a time like this - mum is out getting coffee? Proves how much she cares!" I grunted, looking away from my father.

The doctor stood there awkwardly, waiting for me to say something but I didn't.

"Well, I think what's best is if we keep you on suicide watch," the doctor spoke, reading through his clipboard.

"What is that?" My father hissed, not wanting anymore trouble.

"We want to keep him in rehab to watch him closely, to make sure he's okay and we need to help him get back on track." The doctor said, and I groaned in response.

My mother walked through the door and when she saw me awake, she gave me a disgusted look.

"Do you know how much weight you put on our shoulders!?" She complained.

"No. And I don't really care. You shouldn't either, considering you went to get coffee instead of sitting here when I woke up." I replied.

"I think that's quite enough, we will allow you to go home in a couple of hours to collect your things, but then you will return to the hospital and we will go from there," the doctor said.

"Wait- what's happening?" My mum asked.

Before the doctor could speak, I opened my mouth. "Well mum if you had been here rather than caring about your own thirst you would know by now that the doctor wants to keep me on suicide watch," I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

"I don't think suicide watch is necessary. He's just going through a phase." My mother said.

My dad sat in silence, clearly disappointed in my actions. 

"Even if this is a phase, we cannot let a possible suicide patient leave. We have to make sure he's at a healthy weight, and stop him from harming himself before we can let him go," the doctor replied to my mother.

"So when will be coming to collect him to take him home?" She asked, clearly not interested.

"He will have to stay in rehab for about 3 months, possibly less, possibly more depending on how he reacts to the recovery," the doctor replied.

"3 months!? No! I will not stand for that - he needs to be at school learning and going off to university, not sitting around in a hospital bed feeling sorry for himself." My mother whined.

"You've got no idea how I feel. You never asked me, so mum I suggest you shut your mouth." I hissed.

"I think you should both leave now, return for 3:30pm to collect him. I should be expecting him back here for 5pm." the doctor said.

My mother and father left the room, my father looked at me and I almost thought I saw a sympathetic smile.

But I was probably wrong.

***

Later That Day

I awoke from my nap, and checked the clock. My mother was due to be here in half an hour.

"I suggest you change into the clothes you came here with, but perhaps you'd like to change into something different before you return?" The nurse smiled as she pushed the clothes towards me.

I looked down at the shirt and saw blood stains.

"You had thrown up on your jeans, I'm not sure if you remember; but I did wash them for you so you wouldn't smell," the nurse smiled.

"Thank you," I said, and budged towards the bathroom to change.

The anaesthetic was beginning to ware off, and I could feel my body begin to hurt. My arms were stiff, and my wrists stung. I looked down to see the stitches in the deeper cuts, and on the other arm my arm was bandaged up.

I changed slowly into my clothes, feeling sticky and smelly. My doctor told me I was able to wash, but only if i could hide my arms from the water so I wouldn't soak the padding.

"If you're unable to do that, then please come back and tell me so I can fix it up before you go in," the doctor said as I stood beside the bed to keep me up.

"You're probably feeling a little drowsy, once you return we will be able to give you some medication to get rid of the pain. We will also give you you're schedule so you know when you need to eat, and when you have sessions." He said.

"What do you mean sessions? And why is there timing to eat?" I asked.

"There are 2 sessions, one is a group session and one is a session with just you and the therapist. You will need to attend both every day, and you have slots in the schedule where you can roam the building, go outside, or even catch up on school work the school will send in the library." The doctor said.

"As for eating, breakfast is at 8:30 am every morning, lunch is at 12:30 and dinner is served at 5pm. You must attend each of these, and you will be guarded whilst you eat. If you are new and have an eating disorder, then you will be guarded more closely and you won't have to eat one of the meals each day until we can stabilise your body," the nurse said, smiling at me.

"I understand, Thankyou," I said as I left to meet my mum in the waiting room.

***

HI! So yes that was a longer chapter than I expected! I hope you're enjoying it so far.

I just want to put out there that I don't know anything about rehab (this is all my guesses) because I haven't actually been to one before.

So I'm really sorry if this is not how it is! This is just how I'd imagine it!

Okay! Thanks for reading.

- Holleh c: