Wonga!

11 Scotch Eggs

Killerman's errant behaviour with his revolver and the unfortunate incident with the purple haired friend of Dorothy's pooch had been a rather unwarranted diversion from Pawser's normally immutable daily schedule which he had singularly perfected over the years. His self styled mantra with respect to work would have normally allowed him to navigate his way through the day both mentally and physically unchallenged to return home of an evening as relaxed and refreshed as when he first arose.

Dodging stray ordinance and canine shootings were not welcome in his world of phlegmatic serenity.

Pawser considered that if he had wanted excitement he would have joined the Close Protection Unit and spent his days shagging his way through the younger members of the Foreign Diplomatic Corps based in the various exotic overseas Embassy's to be found scattered across the Capital.

Having just collected his DJ, his mind was thus elsewhere as he ran up the steps to the entrance to Thames House and attempt to run the gauntlet of the nefariously unreliable turnstile system.

The system had been cunningly designed to allow veteran staff through just often enough to build up an unwarranted level of confidence in its apparently well oiled operation, then using a random number generator secretly introduced into its mechanism by a disgruntled deviant from the factory floor from whence it came, it would unexpectedly jam.

Laden as he was with his Dinner Suit slung precariously over one shoulder in preparation for the evenings Christmas do, Daily Telegraph and brief case tucked under his other arm, Pawser approached the fiendish device at a speed that belied its potentially malign influence. This was a mistake as the arm decided to jam catching him totality unawares impaling his nether regions the full force that would have made even a well bred Turkish eunuch waiter serving a group of his elderly relatives at a Christening Party, howl at the top of his voice 'Furkeeeyyyys' .

The full force of the impact caused Pawser almost to flip fully over the barrier and he found himself sprawling across the floor, his paper and attaché case sliding ahead of him across the highly polished marble surface to gradually slow to standstill below the receptionist's desk. His suit in a state of considerable disarray was now casually flipped up over his head.

He managed to stand up and clutching his groin with one hand staggered blindly around, cursing loudly as he went whilst grappling wildly to remove the suit from his head. This, one winged, headless turkey act was abruptly bought to a halt when he was grasped firmly by the arm by an unseen hand and guided to safety.

Having untangled himself from his suit Pawser determined that his saviour was none other than the lovely petite dark bob haired brunette nymphet who normally captained the large reception barge moored in the middle of the entrance hall. The barge was generally festooned in art deco vases and expansive flower arrangements, replaced daily by the taxpayer to demonstrate their stoic support for the sterling work being undertaken by the occupants of the building.

'Oh sir, are you all right?' she smiled breezily at Pawser. She steered him to one of the leather seats helpfully placed just beyond the turnstiles to allow all those who had caught their nachos' in that devilish contraption some brief respite before they went upon their way. This arrangement allowed such misfortunate's to catch their breath and surreptitiously check the intackedness or otherwise of their reproductive organs whilst sat in full view of the hundreds of other employees streaming through the turnstiles.

Normally Pawser would have put on a brave face and with watering eyes marched on stoically past the reception desk to duck into the loos beyond the lifts and into Trap One just to check no permanent damage had been done. Not that Pawser ever expected to sire any children with Penny of course, those days were long gone and the upkeep of Pennys horses would never really allow any realistic possibly of welcoming any baby Pawsers or Pawserettes into this world.