The Essence of Noah (Muslim story)

Letter

Evan understood my behaviour, my mum and Baba didn't really. Every chance she could, mum would try to get me out of the house, to take Albi on a walk or go to the beach with Brooke, whilst Baba would try to take me to Jido's and Sitti's house whenever he was going. To them I think I seemed like a lonely depressed and hormonal teenager that was suffering from no-sibling syndrome. Truth is, I was far from lonely, being alone was a preference and at the time I never thought I'd want that to change; not until now.

Being in my own company, though it was alright at first, has started to take its toll on me. There's no one to talk to or anyone to listen to, and for the first time silence has its own unique sound. It's like an incessant sharp ringing in my ears, amplified by the bare walls and floorboards. It's driving me to the edge of the fine line between being alone and lonely, and lately I feel like I'm on a see-saw weighted down on the lonely side.

That's why, when Noah suggested to meet up again, I could barely contain my eagerness. I'm not sure how he does it. How he manages to live alone and be as happy and composed as he always. Even this morning, with the stress of his assignments and labs he still seemed calm- albeit he looked slightly dishevelled- but who doesn't when they wake up stressed and lounge about in their pyjamas.

I make my way up the stairs and to my apartment. It's already six thirty and now that summer's over, daylight savings is probably going to end sometime soon, and instead of enjoying the sunset as I eat my dinner, I'm going to be eating as a blanket of darkness covers the city. Tiredly I place my backpack on the ground and take off my sandals and place them to the side in the hallway. In the kitchen, I take out a cup of two minute noodles, and set the kettle to boil. My diet as of late has consisted of cereal and noodles, all of which Baba would scowl and shake his head at. I'm personally not a fan of the diet either but I haven't got much of a choice – it's either that or take out and frankly I don't have the kind of money to order in every night.

The kettle whistles and I pour some water into the cup and microwave it. From where I stand, I stare out at the balcony, where the outdoor light has switched on and illuminated the dusk exterior. I try to crane my neck to see whether or not Noah is outside, but I can't and so I stare back at the timer on m microwave and drum my fingers on the counter; a habit I picked up from Noah.

I eat my noodles, standing and leaning against the counter as I stare outside. The flavoured water splatters on my chin and the bench top as I slurp up the hot carbs and satisfy my hunger. I wait a bit longer after I eat watching the balconies outside and waiting for Noah to show up, but he doesn't, and momentarily I wonder whether he's forgotten or lost track of time. I walk up to the double glass doors and open one to step outside, to cool evening breeze brushing my face and weaving through the material of my cardigan. I take a few steps further out and turn to look inside Noah's apartment.

Sure enough, Noah is in there, sitting on his L-shaped couch with a book in his hands and a stack more of them on his coffee table along with loose bits of paper. He seems engrossed in his studies, with a small frown forming between his eyebrows as he presses his lips. I bite the inside of my cheek as I retreat back into my apartment and close the balcony door. Whether he's forgotten or lost track of time, he has a reasonable excuse. He's studying. He moved here to study and so did I. I should be studying, not anticipating little talks with my neighbour.

My friendship with Noah, though as innocent as it is, should not be more. His friendship isn't like Evan's. I've known Evan's for six years- our friendship developed gradually, it still is, but I've know Noah for a couple of months at most, and already I know quite a bit about him and he's enough about me. The more I think about it, the more reckless I feel like I've been being since moving to Melbourne. Back in Adelaide this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have been interested or eager to get to know someone as I have with Noah, and Baba most definitely wouldn't have allowed it. He doesn't want another Evan in my life.

My thoughts carry me back to what got Noah and I talking in the first place; religion. We share the same faith, and having met someone who isn't born or raised with it intrigued me. The more I talk to him the more I find that I learn about my faith. Hearing things from the perspective of somebody who's chosen to believe rather than someone who says they are a 'believer', shines a new light, allows for a new perspective that if anything has inspired me to learn more. But nonetheless, there should be boundaries, between Noah and my friendship, and recently I have definitely surpassed them.

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I'm back again, and this time I'm really trying to stick to my update schedule (for those that don't go on my profile it's every Wednesday and Saturday if not a few extras here and there). I also want to say, that even though this update it quite long, I feel like it's more of a filler- basically a 'day in the life of Hana' kind of thing. I hope you still enjoy it though!

Vote, comment and let me know what you think :)