Forever and Always

Amadeus

The school day went by pretty fast, and I was grateful. During the last week of middle school, they held try-outs for the high school's show choir. I have always loved to sing, so I tried out, not thinking I had any chance of getting in. Their singers were amazing, and I was astonished when the director, Mr. Miller, said I was in. Our first practice was after school, and I was anxious to be there.

Once I shared the news with Sarah, standing at my locker, she jumped up and down with excitement.

"Oh that's great!! I'm so glad you got in!"

"Thanks," I reply, "I am too haha."

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and I say, "Sean, you're such a creep." He kisses my cheek and whispers, "You love this creep." I laugh and slap him on the arm jokingly. Jason joined the party, placing a hand on Sarah's side.

"So, you guys joining us for some Sheetz?" Jason asks with a smile. Since the place was only across the street, we visited it often in our free time. The employees knew us well.

"I have show choir practice today," I replied, "but you guys should go ahead."

They all agree and as we say our goodbyes I am left alone to make my way through this enormous crowd of freshman.

I walk to the other side of the building and as I approach the door, I begin to become quite nervous. I never really thought about it until now, but what if there is absolutely nobody I know in there? What if I embarrass myself and everybody ends up hating me? What if my singing is terrible compared to theirs? The negative thoughts cause my heart to pound and I slowly take a step backwards. My hands begin to shake but my mind tells me to go on, that I don't need to be afraid. I say a silent prayer as my hand meets the door handle.

~~~

"Alright, everybody in a circle please!" Mr. Miller announces. Everybody moves towards the center of the room, and I quickly find an old friend to sit next to. Her name was Ellie, we had met in 6th grade and she always seemed to be very nice and passionate about anything she set her mind to.

"Ellie, I didn't know you sang," I said to her.

She giggled, "I didn't know you did either!"

Mr. Miller begins to pass out paper, and one pencil to each of us.

"Okay, uuummmm, with the paper and pencil, write a question you'd like to ask somebody in order get to know them better." We all obey, and as he crumbles up the piece of paper and throws it into the middle of the circle, we all do the same.

"Okay, Seniors, you get to go first this year! Grab a paper, tell your name to the group, and answer the question written on it," he spoke in such a high-pitched voice, and used plenty of hand motions. I wasn't trying to be rude, but my "gay-dar" was going off the wall. Mr. Miller seemed so happy and bubbly though, even at freshman orientation. That was one of the biggest reasons I wanted to join: I felt like it would make me happy.

There were only two seniors in the group, a girl and a boy. The girl grabbed her paper ball first, "Hey, my name is Ali," she paused to read the question, "What vocal range do you sing in? I'm an alto," she answered, smiling sweetly.

Next was the boy. He moved to the center, taking a question. "I'm Amadeus," I freeze, the same voice hits my ear drums as the beginning of the day. I look over and sure enough, there are those beautiful blue eyes. The ones that made me speechless when my clumsy behind fell earlier this morning. He looks at me as he says the question aloud, "What is your favorite song? Mine is either Pompeii or Counting Stars." I had heard the two songs many times over the radio, they weren't bad, but for some reason I didn't expect that type of music to be something he'd listen to.

He kept his gaze on me, even while everybody else answered their questions. When it finally came down to the freshmen, I dove in for my question. "I'm Cora," my hands trembled a bit as I uncrumbled the piece of paper, "What's your favorite band/song? Pentatonix, they've been my obsession since 7th grade, and either Love Again or La La Latch." I look over at Amadeus, and he winks at me. I smile and blush, turning away. Of course, there is some guilt in me for being flattered, I mean, I have a boyrfriend for crying out loud, but for some reason, Amadeus seems different. There was just something about him..something I wanted to get closer to.

"I'm Margaret," a dark skinned girl reads her question, "Who is your favorite singer? Michael Jackson." She seemed so certain, like she didn't have a doubt. She looks at me and smiles, I smile back.

Mr. Miller stands up, "Guys lets get started, we're going to sing 'Bring Me To Life' first." Amadeus runs to the front of the room and begins to pass out sheets of paper with notes and lyrics. When he gets to me, I take one and stand netween Ellie and Margaret. As we begin to sing, I start to lose myself in the lyrics. A soothing feeling overwhelms me and before I know it, the song is over. And so is practice.

I begin to gather my things and head out the door, but Amadeus stops me.

"Hey, Cora? You sing beautifully by the way, I just wanted to let you know." The comment surprised me and caused me to blush.

"Thanks," I say, not too sure how to respond, since I wasn't completely sure if this was considered flirting. "You do too, you project your voice very well."

"Well thank ya," he grins at me, "I'll see ya around then I guess."

"Definitely," I smile at him.

When I get home, I walked to my room and flopped down on my bed. Every day, since I was twelve years of age, I had kept a diary. I didn't like to write though, because I got hand cramps so easily. So this diary was kept on my old iPod. I recorded myself talking, and those became my entries. My school counselor even suggested the idea, since I bottled up my emotions so often. This seemed to help me. I pulled the electronic device off of my charger, and pressed record. I then let my thoughts free:

"The date is August 12th, 1015 and I started high school today. It's not too bad, I have honors English, fun classes and new friends, but this morning, I literally ran into a senior named Amadeus. The colission knocked me down, but not him, he's almost a head taller than me. He helped me pick up my things and the moment I met his blue eyes, I don't know what it was, but I melted inside. He made me feel a way I have never felt before, not even with Sean-" I couldn't believe it as soon as the words left my mouth, "but, I don't know, Amadeus seems really nice, I just want to get to know him. I just want to be friends." I ended the recording there. Friends don't always stay friends my mind whispered. I scolded myself once again before going to eat.