Life without Love

My Routine...

I shut my computer and put it in the drawer next to my bed, and sat down on my bed. What was I doing? Having fun when I know nothing will happen? God Clarissa, you are being so dumb. Maybe your father is right...

I shook my head, and laid down , looked at my phone, since it was the only electronic I was allowed and texted my friend Maria asked what she was doing. I waited for a reply, staring at my phone. The next thing I know, I awoke by a smack to the head by my father.

"ouch!" I screamed,

"I called you to get me another fucking beer, You didn't answer, so I came down and you are sleeping? what do you think this is? You know better! Now GO!" He screamed and picked me up and threw me towards the door.

"Alright..oooff" i say as i run into the wall. I walk upstairs and go to the fridge and grab two beers. I see my father is sitting back down in his chair. I put the beers on his table.

"This should do you for the rest of the night." I kiss his cheek and started walking away when my father got up.

"Come here Clarissa," He said calmer than usual. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I was hoping he would get too drunk to remember this... I walk towards him, I know what is coming, I hate this part of the night.

"Y-Yes Dad?" I stutter out of my mouth as I'm getting closer. A smile appears on his face, that evil smile that I hated, that I have seen before almost every night for the past 3 years.. I think.

"Come closer, honey." He reached his big hand out. I stepped back.

"I-I don't want to." I mumbled and looked down.

"what was that?' His voice got louder and meaner.

"Nothing Dad" I look up and give him a small smile. He grabs my hand and pulls me close to him, I scrunched up my nose as the smell of alcohol and cigarettes starts taking up my air. He starts kissing my neck and rubbing his hands all over my body.

I start shaking,

Why doesn't he just shoot me like he did her?

Why do I have to be alive dealing with this asshole?

What did I do to deserve this?

He looks at me, with tears in my eyes, I force a smile.

"Don't cry, I'm going to give you the time of your life tonight." He said in a sick, twisted voice. Yeah okay, 'time of your life' more like "time of YOUR life" I rolled my eyes, he grabbed my shirt and smiled.

I shook my head no, he started lifting my shirt and i tried to push the shirt back down but he just ripped it off. Then he smacked my face hard.

"Don't fight back, we have been over this, you fight back, you get hurt," He screamed at me. I cupped my cheek and glared at him as he started taking my shorts off. He smiled at me and pushed me to the floor so i was laying on my back. He tried to get on top of me but i put my legs up to protect myself, I started screaming.

He sat on my legs and pinned me down, putting my arms above my head. He leaned to kiss me but i spat in his face. He wiped off the spit. I looked at him angrily, then felt my head hit the floor hard.

Then everything went black,