Adorn Me: Book 2

Set Up

You ever feel so alone? I mean real alone ? Almost like a screaming child who is on mute and can't be heard. Ever pour out your feelings? I mean really pour them out almost like you're pouring them down a sink?

Well, that's how I felt. I felt like all the feelings I had went down the drain. That he didn't care enough to even give me the benefit of the doubt. If he knew how I felt,if he felt the same way.Then would it be so hard to show feelings you claim to have?

A lot of thoughts were pouring in my head. Like how he even said "Sometimes I don't know where my heart is". The way I seen it it's ether with me or against me.

You ether love me or have lost all past feelings. You've given up and you're to good to tell me you're using me. To good to tell me you want to move on.

So instead you let me walk around with high hope of us, with the satisfaction. And although I have good reasons to believe he loves me still. To believe he wants to try. I can't help but realize other reasons. Material things don't matter. You can buy me the world and if you can't give me one simple text message of your "love" then it means nothing. And I mean not shit to me.

You could be Chris Brown for all I care. But if you're not going to show me you here for me then, piss off. Fall in line with the rest of the useless jerks who made me fall for their petty lines and bullshit.

Looking at Cole in my previous dream made me want to puke. And although I did I pushed it off.

I always puked because of him. Because I needed him. Because he was a part of me. I couldn't quite understand it though. I mean him or us.

How one minute he was. Cole Price and the next he was a stranger. Unlike the guy I had fallen for. Unlike the guy who made me smile and wrote me love letters. I couldn't understand why it was being thrown away. Why I wasn't worthy enough of his love anymore.

I couldn't understand the dreams. I couldn't understand why I needed him or- or why my world revolved around him. I couldn't understand why he made me fall in love and why he wanted me.

I couldn't understand how his hugs made me feel or how his soft murky voice made me so happy. His smile or his laugh. Why did I let it get to this?

Why didn't I stop him like the rest? Why did I put myself in his trap?

Why did I fall in love again? Why did he not reply back to me the way I wanted? Why did I want him so bad?

Why didn't he appreciate me? Take me for consideration? Wasn't I good enough? Was I ever going to find someone who thought i was good enough?

I shivered at the dream

"You know Candice" Cole said turning to face her

"I think Angel is clingy, that she's not the one for me. I don't want to hurt her. But I'm only hurting her more by staying somewhere I don't want to be right?"

Candy frowned "I dunno Cole-I- l don't, but I do know you'll be a wreck without her. It'll be like living hell."

He nodded "Yea. Im doing that now".

Cole laid more on the ground and Candice did the same

I wasn't enough. I'd never be what he wanted. I don't even know what I am to him anymore.

"Angelina are you okay ?" asked Luke frightened. I hunched over and threw up some more. I hated how he did this to me. Why would he make me fall in love and then make me puke out my guts all the time?

"Yea, I'm fine,okay. Could you just leave me alone" I said aggravated. Luke nodded before walking back to the animal he had found laid out on the road.

If Cole didn't want me. Then fine. I'd have someone else. I'd have someone who acctually showed me feelings. Somone who could be here for me like Luke was now. The wind was howling at me andI grimaced. I eyed Luke. It's funny how the world works. How I cared for Cole and not as much for Luke and how Luke cared for me and not for Cole.

"I'm going to walk for some air" I murmured. "I don't know if that's a good idea-

"I'll say something if I need help Luke." He nodded unsure but I just wanted to be alone.

After all who else did I have besides him? Who else listened besides him?

She threw the gray parka over her shoulders and walked into the woods. And when she was alone and no one was around she cried. She sat in the brown leaves and murky grass and cried. Nothing hurt more then having feelings for someone who could never show you them back.Nothing felt worse then giving all of your love, commitment,trust and whatever else you give in relationships to that person. Only to have it thrown back on you like dirt.

For a long time she wept and sobbed. For a while she cursed and stomped in the leaves. And then she heard a low growl. She didn't raise up or glance. Then the legs were in front of her. She told Luke she would scream. That's shed say something. But the real Angelina was dead. She had died when she realized how Cole really felt about her.

And so she mumbled "If you've come to kill me.Go ahead. After all I've already died I'm ready to die again."

AN: DRAMA!!! Okay so don't be mad at Cole. Angel didn't heard all the dream so she thinks Cole wants to break up. And because she thinks this it helps her get closer to Luke. Major problems on the way!