Rain [h.s]

fifteen

February 12th-

      Eve cut her hair. I noticed it immediately when I caught her by her locker after second period. She smiled at me brightly once she saw me and I swear that my heart skipped a beat. Even with her hair just barely longer than where her ears rested she is so beautiful.

I did like her long hair though so this will take some getting used to. For the first time, at school anyway, I stood very close to her with a smile on my lips as I lifted my hand and twirled a strand of her curly hair around my finger.

She still blushes profusely whenever I do anything simple like that and I can't write with words just how much I adore it. I told her that I liked it before releasing the strand of her hair and her smile only continued to blossom as she looked up at me.

The stupid bell rang next, which still to-this-day continues to be annoying as hell and, before she could say anything, I leaned in and kissed her gently and wished her good luck on her Chemistry quiz.

I think that really surprised her but all she did was nod and blush a deeper shade before we parted ways. But the bad thing about that moment when I walked away was that suddenly all of the sadness that had been sent away with her presence in my life came back all at once.

I couldn't breathe as I felt it return but instead of letting it take it's hold completely like I had done so many times before, I turned around and lengthened my stride so that I caught up with Eve only a few lockers away from her own.

She was very confused and looked at me with such concern in those pretty dark eyes of hers. Her pink lips parted slightly to ask me what was going on but before she had the chance I took her face in my hands and kissed her deeply for the very first time.

I don't know what it was that made me do that, but I know that I don't regret it. Actually, I'm pretty sure I went straight to her for comfort because even just being around her helps to alleviate whatever sadness that happens to be present within me.

I still felt very sad again but I was also very comforted. Eve looked at me with wide, bright eyes and rosy cheeks, she still didn't ask me what was going on but she knew something was up and even though that kiss made her very happy she was also very concerned.

I backed off a little because it looked like I had frightened her but when I looked deeper I knew that wasn't it. Anyway, I ended up asking her to stop by after school and she nodded in understanding.

I only ever ask her to come over when things don't feel right and when I'm sad because I know that she's the one person and the one thing that can comfort me.

She came over almost immediately although that didn't surprise me much because she'd gone through the drill many times before, as have I for her, and I know that she really cares.

I still don't know what brought that sadness back, but Eve let me hold her and place kisses to the top of her head every now and then.

I don't like to cry around people, but I didn't mind crying around her. Her arms were soothing and her lips were even better, she kissed my cheek and wiped the tears from my eyes gently like I always do for her, and, despite how gross I know I was from crying, she kissed me tenderly every now and then without saying a single word.

She still hasn't asked me what's wrong when this happens or why it happens and I'm glad because I honestly don't know myself.

I wanted her to spend the night, like she does every now and then, but I know she has homework and that it's selfish of me to keep her all for myself so I let her go just before dinner. She means so much to me even though I don't know what we are or what will happen between us one high school ends. I'm afraid to lose her and fall back into depression all over again.

                                                                   H.