Girl Meets Mayaville

All these quesions

How is it that I'm alone?
How is it that you're not here with me?
How is it that we're just acting like that never happened?
How is it that I'm still depressed, broken, alone?

I can't take you off of my mind. Did that kiss even mean anything to you? Or was it just a jealous impulse? Did you mean it, or was it just for the moment? It meant the world to me. I soon look down, staring at my floor, my dirty, messed up floor. Hey, I have something in common with the floor, we're both dirty and messed up. I sigh deeply, taking my gaze off of the floor, soon turning it to the window, seeing rain tap on the glass hearing the rain patter on the glass, on the roof above me. The sky is dark and grey, much like my mind. It's the middle of the day, but it feels like it's midnight. It should be. I know I wouldn't have to deal with anyone then. I soon feel my face begin to heat up, tears threatning to fall. Why is that? Why would I cry? I'm not upset.. Well, I'm not okay. I never am, I just act like I am. I suppose, I am upset. Holding in all my tears, all my pain, not letting it show. I let my tears fall, its not like anyone will see me crying. My tears fall, rolling down my face, falling to the ground, staining the floor forever. Not being seen, but in my memories. The only thing I seem to have left. Just a memory of Riley's touch, Riley's lips. We're not even mentioning it. Like it never even happened. Was she just jealous because Lucas almost kissed me? She probably still likes Lucas. She was probably trying to make him jealous. Or Charlie. I roll my eyes, soon even more tears start rolling down my face. But, she almost kissed me before.. We were at her house.. Could she like me?.. Everytime she almost kissed me, she quickly pulled away, being playful or bashful. Did she do that on pourpase? Did she know I liked her and was just teasing me? All these questions can't be answered. They'll never be answered. But I don't mind at all.. Just like how I'm always okay.