Save Me [A Norman Reedus fanfiction - Part 1 - COMPLETED]

Chapter Fourteen - For You

The first night home was uneventful. Norman and Mingus made a huge bowl of popcorn and we watched some of the movies I hadn't seen yet and actually, I zoned out almost immediately as the first screencaps of the first movie had appeared on the screen. My mind wandered around various memories of our lives, goods and bads either. I couldn't not look at Mingus each and every time, being amazed by how much he had changed during the years. The little angel turned to be a grown-up angel. With each year, he had become more of his mother but still had a lot of Norman's expressions. And he had a thing with crossbows too.

God, have mercy...

Mingus was always by my side, even when I was in rehab. We met on my second day with Norman and we had a bond immediately. He was so chatty, so cute and loveable that even my sour heart melted in a quick second. I knew that the one person I'd never be able to hurt was him. My little brother. I never felt responsibility for anything or anybody before. Never had a pet to take care of, Kieran could take care of himself (in his own way) and I had no normal friends to think of the way I did for Mingus. I just wanted him to see me normal. I failed him. All the time.

Her mother, Helena wasn't happy that his young boy had been visiting me – in her opinion – too many times and instead of hanging out with his friends, he usually took a cab or came with Norman, to chat with me or just to sit by my bed and beg me to get well soon so we could play on the Xbox or whatever.

Sweet kid.

Sometimes, Helena came too, just to make sure that I wasn't corrupting Mingus. I met her a few days after my moving in to Norman's, to see with her own eyes that I was not a psychopath and she could be calm that I'd never get his prescious son involved in my destructive life. I would never forget the first moment when our eyes met. Her hatred was almost touchable. Both I and Norman could feel it. But Norman had a long talk with her on the phone that night and I was at the other side of the door, listening every word he said.

'I'm responsible for her. It's kinda my fault that Kieran died, I can't just let her rot in an orphanage, she's not tough enough to handle this alone. ... Yes, I know she has problems but she's just a kid. Would you leave Ming alone if he would have problems? ... You see. I can't leave Reira alone as well. I owe her brother. ... She's not like that. She would never do anything wrong to Mingus. I'm sure as fuck. ... I'm gonna keep an eye on her. You can be calm, it's gonna be fine. She'll be through the rehab and after that, we're gonna be just like a huge family. Trust me.'

After five weeks of rehab, I went straight to my dealer and was high and lost for almost a week.

When the last movie had ended, it was already one in the morning and tough Mingus had a summer break, Norman sent him to bed.

'But Dad, I wanted to show Reira...' Mingus started to disagree, but Norman held up his hand to stop him.

'You can show her whatever ya want tomorrow. We have a few days before we'd go back to Georgia.' Norman explained and as he mentioned Georgia, I felt a knot growing in my throat. He looked at me and saw the agony in my eyes. He knew I hated to be there. 'Go, Mingus, we had a long day and we all need some rest.'

Tough, Mingus was unhappy, he did as his father had told him. He came to me and gave me a bear hug I loved so much.

'See you tomorrow, sis!' He whispered into my ear and I smiled widely. I loved when he called me his sister. 'Have a good night!'

'You too, bro.' I answered and he left. I was about to go to my bedroom, but Norman put his hand on my shoulder, only for a second then pulled it back quickly, like I was too hot to touch.

'Jeez, ya need to gain some weight... It's like I could break ya with a light touch!' He squeaked and I rolled my eyes.

'Don't overdramatic it, Norman!' I begged him and waited for him to speak up.

'So... I wanted to talk ya about the Georgia trip.' He started and I literally felt pain.

'Norman! How many times you need to finally realize that it isn't a good idea?!'

'That's the past, darling! This is the now and now ya can prove that you've changed!' He tried to convince me but it really didn't work on me. All the bad memories came back to my mind about the past year's Georgia-time and I literally felt sick.

'You can't know that! I am not even sure about that I've changed at all! It's been only a few hours since I'm out and what have I done yet? Eating pizza and watching crap movies?' I bursted out and his eyes went wide.

'What's wrong with The Guardians of the Galaxy? Rooker is in that movie too! I thought you liked him!' Norman almost looked hurt, like I was calling his movies shit.

'Seriously? This is the most important thing now?' I asked back annoyed. I needed some fresh air, so I slipped my feet into my slippers and went out to the balcony. Soon, Norman followed me. With his bunny slippers on his feet.

This guy will never grow up.

Norman lit up on a cigarette and once again, he held the box out to me, offering a smoke. The temptation was almost unbearable and unresistable. But I did resist that anyway. I shook my head no and saw him smiling. We laid onto the frame and just watched the city underneath of our feet. All the people and cars, knowing nothing about the shits I'd been through and the hell I had made the person standing next to me go through as well. The thin self-confidence I'd built up suddenly had cracks on its surface.

'I don't wanna fail you again...' I confessed and tears came out of the corners of my eyes. Norman looked at me and as soon as he realized I was crying he pulled me into a tight hug, being careful not to burn me with the cigarette.

'Shh, it's okay, girl... Everything's gonna be okay.' He said the cliches and when he thought I chilled down a bit, he pulled away just as much to be able to look into my eyes. 'I told ya, girl. Don't do anything for me or for anyone else. Do it for yourself! You've never failed me...'

'That's not true.' I tore myself out of his arms and backed away, crying even harder. 'I always fail you. I always put you in shit situations. God, I almost had you kicked out of the show, because I wasn't able to stay sober for one fucking second! You almost lost everything because of me! Your job, your reputation, even your son! Everyone hates me and they have a fucking good reason for that! You should've let me rot in jail years ago...'

Norman's face tightened in anger and he dropped his cigarette into the ashtray on the little table next to him. 'Hey! I don't wanna hear this from you yet again, got me?' He shouted in anger, not caring about who could hear it. He stepped in front of me quickly, grabbing my upper arm with such force I hissed in pain. He realized that he was so forceful and let my arm. He took a few deep breath to calm himself down then looked back at me. 'You are not ruining everything! You had a bad life but now... This is fresh start, Reira. You can change. And you're gonna do it hell of good!'

'Why are you so sure about it?'

'Because, this time it's your decision! Not a force of other people, it's you who wants to change.'

His words made me feel shit. I couldn't believe a single word of his and I felt even more bad because I knew he meant every word. He really did believe in me.

Why should he think that? Because I have a new haircolor and haven't run to my dealer yet?!

I looked into his eyes through my tears and felt those freaking butterflies again. I wish I would have been a better shot so I could have killed all of them. I couldn't say anything in response and I didn't want to lie again. To break the silence, he pulled me into his hard chest again and just let us come back from our anger fields. Meanwhile, I made a promise in my head and really wished to be able to keep it.

For you, only for you... I'll try.
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Thanks for everybody who's reading my story! I know my English is shitty, so I beg for your apologize!
I really hope you like it anyway! Please, feel free to leave a comment about your opinion! I'm so curious... ;)

- D.