Don't Deny

12

xii. True Feelings

Daehyun's POV

After last night, I realised that Youngjae is fragile, he gets hurt or scared easily but doesn't show it. He still shows a smile even he's hurt inside. He shows his cheerful, bubbly, happy side to the public but he's feeling cold, depressed and hopeless inside.

"I'm not really an open person. I mean like, I never shared, any of my thoughts about someone or something to anyone"

"Really? Sometimes, you need to Youngjae, you can't let your sadness and anger bottle up inside you. It will only make you more hurt"

"Actually no, I've kept my frustrations, anger, sadness and yada yada yada all to myself since I can remember. I've never been thinking about suicide or self harm or whatever because I'll always find away to calm down and let the pain go away by itself"

"Oh. But, if there is anything, I mean anything you would want to tell me or ask me, I'm always here"

"Thanks, but I'm not really comfortable. Like I said, I 've never share my feelings"

"It's okay, I'll wait whenever your ready"

"Thanks Daehyun"

"Anytime Youngjae"

Our conversation before going up the dorm from last night flashed in my mind. I was really sympathatic towards him. He must have loads of secrets and feelings in his heart. I would just want to know. Am I being nosy or caring?

It doesn't matter. All I know is I made a promis to myself, to be for Youngjae whenever he needs me. I promise to be Youngjae's cheerleader. I promise to love him until the end of our days.

I also promised to notet my feelings for him overpower me. But I just can't shake of that thought. I hope I can call him mine.

My thoughts we're distracted by the shouts from the living room. Sounded like Jongup and Junhong. Well, as a responsible hyung, I stood up and went to the living room. "What's going on here?" Himchan hyung asked while squinting his eyes and scratching the back of his neck. I'm guessing he just woke up.

"It's his fault!"

"No it wasn't!"

"It was!"

Me & Himchan hyung watched the two maknaes accusing each other for something. "Hold up hold up, the hell is going on right now?" I asked them. "Junhong hit the wires and stuff and now it's broken" Jongup says in a pout. Then all of us turned to the sound of the door opening, to reveal Youngjae who just came back from recording. I automatically smiled at the sight of him.

"Gahh! Why are you pouting? I can tie a ribbon on your lips" He said as he saw Jongup. His sarcasm is so cute. "Exkuis meh, don't blame my fabulous long legs" Junhong said. "Well I don't care, now the tv screen is black" Jongup answered. "Youngjae, go" Himchan hyung said while pointing to the tv. Youngjae went to the crime scene and tried to fix the tv.

"The wires are broken man. You guys can't play video games anymore" He said while rubbing his hands on his shirt. "WHAT?!" Junhong & Jongup said simultaneously. "No no no no no no" Junhong said. "Honestly, I thought you we're gonna sing to APink" Himchan hyung said. Me and Youngjae cracked a smile.

His smile.

Damn.

"How can this be? I'll die without video games" Jongup said while kneeling on the floor. Like in dramas, when the character kneels on the road, while looking up the raining sky and shouting 'Why?!', that's Jongup now. There was a sound from the door and Yongguk hyung came in. "Why's everyone in the living room?" He asked, confused. "There's a drama airing" I answered him.