Only Hope

Chapter 3

(Steve's P.O.V.)

For two weeks Will had been trying to remember. For two weeks Will had been building herself up again and she remembered almost everything.

She remembered getting saved from Hydra for the first time. She remembered getting stabbed and her first day of school. She remembered D.C. and Ultron. She remembered the farmhouse and the cabin in the woods. She even remembered Vision and Wanda and Pietro. The one thing she couldn't remember was that I was her father.

My only family didn't remember that we were related. It was hard on all of us, especially Clint. He blamed himself for everything that happened to Will.

"Steve, can you tell me how we're related?" Will asked.

"Um, sure" I replied "you see, I'm your father. We found out right after the events of D.C. You needed a blood transfusion from a relative and the doctors tested your blood and it matched mine. The first time that you called me dad was right before you got taken by Hydra again".

This was about the fifth time that I had told her this. "It sounds so familiar. Why can't I remember that?" she sounded as defeated as I felt.

"Hey, it's not your fault that you don't remember. It's Hydra's fault. Blame them. Not yourself or Clint" I said.

"It is isn't it? Wasn't I the one that chose to go to them? Wasn't I the one that tried to be the hero?" she whispered "didn't I choose to be the self sacrificing idiot?"

"You were, but you had no clue what they would do to you. You did that to protect us and Peter. You didn't try to be the hero. You were the hero. Will, you are a hero".

"I'll never be the same person. I might never remember. I know you want me to be the same, but I can't be" she said. Her head was resting on her knees. She was right. I wanted her to be the same kid that we had rescued six months ago, but that kid was gone. She was replaced with a strong girl that was scarred and haunted.

"Hey, you still could remember. Don't lose hope" I started.

"There is no hope" she interrupted.

"Will, the only thing we can do is hope. Hope that you remember. Hope that Hydra and Doom don't want you anymore. Hope that you recover. There's always hope" I finished.

"Well, I don't have any" Will sounded more defeated than before. She could barely walk with her broken knee. She had been going through physical therapy for the last two weeks and hadn't made that much progress. That on top of the memory loss was killing her slowly from the inside.

(Will's P.O.V.)

I had lost all hope of remembering. I couldn't remember the fine details of things. Everything I had started to remember was unclear. I couldn't remember that Steve was my father, I couldn't remember the details of my time at school or most of the time I spent with Bruce.

Steve was desperate for me to remember. He wanted me to be the same. He wanted his family back. I knew I was supposed to be his family, but I could never be the same. I just couldn't. I would never be the same again. After all I had been through, this was the thing that broke me. Not being raised by Hydra, not D.C., not Ultron, not Doctor Doom. This was the thing that made me loose hope. I did what I had tried so hard not to do. I had lost myself.

"I-I don't know what to do. I've lost myself" I had told Nat and Clint.

"Will, I once felt that way, but you have to power through it" she said "it gets a lot better, trust me".

"How can I trust you? I barely remember you at all. You see my problem? right?"

"Yes, we see your problem, but just trust us on this. You will remember eventually, even if it is years from now" they said.

"I'm just-just sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't remember. I'm sorry that I can't be the same again. I'm sorry that I got taken" I started.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault you can't remember, but it is slightly your fault that you got taken, but it was to save us. None of us would have been able to stop you" Clint said "you're too much like Cap for your own good".

"Everyone keeps saying that I'm so much like Cap, or too much like Cap. Why does everyone keep saying this".

"Because it's true. You and Cap share the same DNA. You share the same strengths and the same weaknesses, you both fight for what you believe in. That's the dangerous part. When you set your mind to something you accomplish it" they explained "and you're both self sacrificing idiots".

"I know. I know. I'm just afraid".

After that, they left me alone to drown in my own thoughts. My head was spinning. It was like I was deprived of oxygen for so long that I was going to pass out. I headed up to the roof to get some fresh air. I sat on the edge of the tower and let my feet hang down.

I felt powerful then thinking that I could have jumped. I held my life in my hands. I could have jumped and ended my misery, my pain. I could have jumped and been free of my internal hell.

Then I thought about all of the people that I would leave behind. All of the people that I would hurt by jumping. I knew that they would understand, but I also knew that it would tear them apart. I thought about Cap and Peter and Clint and the others and how it would affect them if I had jumped.

I could have jumped. I could have jumped. Ended all of this pain. Saved the world in the process. My being gone would mean that Hydra and AIM and Doctor Doom wouldn't be able to use me to destroy all heroes. The world would be safer. I would be free. Free to do whatever I wanted in the afterlife. I wanted to jump.