Chapter 10 | Don't You Ever

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Jongin was the one who was confused now. 

He really didn't know what he was expecting Kyungsoo to say, but it definitely wasn't that. Maybe if he had gone into that conversation with some idea, he would have known what to say or do. But he didn't, so he did the only thing he could think of at that moment: nothing.  

In hindsight, that probably wasn't a good idea because now Kyungsoo had gone back to being distant, doing his best to be wherever Jongin wasn't. He felt bad, but he also didn't want to give the younger male false hope when he still hadn't worked through his own feelings. He didn't want him thinking he returned his feelings when Jongin wasn't even sure if he did. 

On the other side of this, Kyungsoo was scared. No, he was petrified. He was petrified that Jongin was angry with him for what he said even though he said he wouldn't get angry. He was petrified that he had ruined the best home he had ever been in. Kyungsoo was petrified that by wanting something more to become of their relationship that he ruined what they already had. Jongin was the first person to let him in and allow him to stay in and now, Kyungsoo was petrified that he would be let go by the one person he didn't want to be let go by.

As he collected himself and his things for work, Jongin remained silent. When he exited the bathroom after his shower, his slightly damp figure completely covered by his uniform, he found that Kyungsoo was still sleeping on the futon, the blanket covering him curled in the shape of his body. It had only been one day and he couldn't deny that he missed sleeping next to him. But did that mean he shared his feelings? In his experience, just enjoying sleeping next to someone didn't necessarily mean you wanted to date them. Jongin sighed and shook his head. This was the upside to being alone that he hadn't noticed before. 

Jongin left the apartment quietly after that, but Kyungsoo awoke almost as soon as he heard the door shut, sitting up and keeping his body propped up with one arm. The sound of the door shutting scared him; it was his least favorite sound. He thought that every time Jongin shut that door, he wouldn't come back, and he thought that even more now that their relationship was in a weird place. 

After spending most of the day inside, he decided to get out of there for a while. Maybe some fresh air would make him feel better and force him to think about things differently. Whenever he was upset as a child, his mother would take him to the park because it would make him feel better, and as far back as he could remember, she hadn't been wrong once. 

So, he took a jacket out of Jongin's closet and left the apartment, not forgetting to bring Jongin's scarf so he could stay warm. 

Meanwhile, Jongin felt distracted during his entire shift at work. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how ridiculous all of this was. Clearly, he felt something for Kyungsoo if he was this distraught over how tense things had become between them. He was making this way more complicated than it needed to be. 

By the time his shift ended, he could barely wait to get home and finally resolve things with Kyungsoo once and for all. He sped home and as soon as he started to walk down the hall, all of the pieces began to make sense in his head. He always looked forward to seeing that elated glimmer in Kyungsoo's eyes when he walked through the door and rushed over to the door to greet him with a hug. That had to mean something, even if Jongin wasn't quite sure what that something was. 

He was disappointed to find that he wasn't around when he opened the door, but his disappointment soon turned into worry when he couldn't find him anywhere inside the apartment. 

"Kyungsoo?" he called out, his heart starting to pick up its pace. He looked around with his eyes as if waiting to hear something in response. "Kyungsoo, where are you?" 

Where could he have gone? He hadn't left him, had he? Maybe he took Jongin's silence as rejection and decided to leave. Jongin could feel his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. 

Had he really pushed him away just because he was too afraid to admit his own feelings? Was it really too late to make things better?

However, he heard the door squeak open a few moments later, turning his body around to face it. Jongin couldn't help but sigh in relief when he saw those wide eyes peek inside the apartment.

"J-Jongin," Kyungsoo stuttered in a quiet voice, closing the door behind him. "You are home." He stood there for a moment as the elder just looked at him, starting to walk toward him slowly. "I went outside for a walk. I did not like being inside for so long by myself," he said as he looked down, a small blush now appearing on his cheeks to compliment the faint one that already existed from the cold. 

As Jongin got closer, Kyungsoo began to feel a little scared. He was scared that Jongin was going to yell at him or tell him to leave and never come back. But instead of hearing a loud voice boom in his ear, he felt a pair of soft, gentle hands pick his face up and then a pair of warm lips touch his.

Kyungsoo opened his eyes, widening them in pure shock when he realized that Jongin was kissing him. Jongin's pair of brown eyes were shut and he let his lips linger on Kyungsoo's for a while before pulling back, observing the utter surprise written all over the younger's face.

"Don't you ever," he whispered, his voice stern yet trembling, "scare me like that again." Kyungsoo's pupils darted back and forth rapidly, yet he could swear that he saw tears in Jongin's eyes. He didn't know why Jongin was crying or how he scared him, but he began to feel a little guilty; he never wanted to be the one to make such a nice man cry. 

Abruptly, Jongin removed his hands from Kyungsoo's face and pulled him into his chest for a hug, his arms wrapped tightly around him with no intention of letting him go. At first, Kyungsoo only stood there, as he was not quite sure of what to do. But after a while, when Jongin tightened his grip even more, a smile began to grow on his face and, eventually, he hugged him back.

"Okay, Jongin," he said. "I will not scare you again." Jongin smiled, chuckling in relief airily and pressed a kiss to Kyungsoo's temple. 

Did he know where any of this would lead? No, but in that moment, all he cared about was having Kyungsoo home.

A/N

Again, I made some minor plot changes to make this chapter match the edits I made to the previous chapter. I hope it all makes sense!

Thanks for reading and supporting me! XOXO

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