Match made in Heaven

Chapter Eleven: Pain, it demands to be felt

<ALEXANDRA'S POV>

"Ma, thank you ha." Sabi ko kay mama habang tinutulak niya yung wheel chair ko papunta sa garden ng ospital. Gusto ko kasi makita ulit tong labas, makalanghap ng sariwang hangin. Simula kasi nang ma-admit ako dito sa, yung apat na sulok na lang ata ng kwarto yung nakikita ko.

"Ano ka ba anak, wala yun. Basta pag sumama yung pakiramdam mo sabihin mo agad sa akin ha." Ang hirap din pala na alam mong laging may nagaalala sa'yo.

"Yes ma." I smile at her at pumikit. Ang sarap lumanghap ng sariwang hangin. Dumilat ulit ako at tinignan yung paligid. Sobrang ganda ng mga bulaklak, sobrang aliwalas. Napatingin naman ako kay mama nang biglang nag-ring yung phone niya.

"It's from the office. Sorry anak ha,  I just have to take this call." Nakita kong parang nagaalangan si mama na sagutin yung phone kaya nginitian ko siya at sinabing okay lang ako. Naglakad siya ng konti at medyo lumayo sa may pwesto ko. Again, I try to look around the garden until nahagip ng mata ko yung isang babae na nakaupo sa bench at umiiyak. Kahit nahihirapan ako, I try my best itulak yung wheel chair ko para makapunta ako palapit dun sa babae. Pumitas ako nung bulaklak na nadaanan ko at tuluyang lumapit sa kanya. Napaangat siya ng ulo nang maramdaman niyang nasa harap niya ko.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tanong ko sa kanya at binigay yung bulaklak na pinitas ko. Pinunasan niya yung mga luha sa mata niya at inabot yung bulaklak na ibinigay ko pero hindi siya sumagot.

"Pasensya na ha, nakita ko na nga umiiyak ka yun pa yung tanong ko. Ano bang problema?" Binigyan niya ko ng isang tipid na ngiti pero kitang-kita ko pa rin sa mga mata niya yung lungkot.

"Natatakot kasi ako eh, yung taong mahal ko parang gusto na niyang sumuko." Tumingala siya sa langit at nagpatuloy magsalita.

"Alam ko naman na nahihirapan na siya sa sakit niya, selfish ba ko kung hihilingin ko na lumaban pa siya?" I know she's talking about Justin. Dito rin siya naka-admit sa ospital na 'to. He even visited me the other day at nang makita ko siya, alam kong hinang-hina na rin siya. Kagaya ko,  lumalaban pa rin siya kasi alam namin na hindi pa sila handa. Pero hindi rin naman namin alam kung hanggang saan kami aabutin ng laban na 'to.

"No. Hindi ka selfish. Kasi sigurado ako na yun din yung gustong gawin nang taong mahal mo. Ang lumaban para sa sarili niya at para sa'yo. Kaya lang, there are things happening in this world na hindi kayang kontrolin ng tao. Only God knows what are fate will be. Hindi naman niya siguro gustong sumuko, ang gusto lang niya maging handa ka sa mga mangyayari sa buhay mo kasama mo man siya o hindi na." Habang sinasabi ko yun, si Andrew lang din yung nasa isip ko. I completely understand what she's feeling right now kasi alam ko na ganon din yung nararamdaman ni Andrew.

"San ko ba dapat ihanda yung sarili ko? Sa sakit na pwede ko pang harapin pag mawala siya? Kasi baka hindi ko na yun kayanin eh, baka ikamatay ko rin." I remember when Justin described her to me, he told me that this girl always sees the brighter side of life but looking at her right now.. she was so down and hopeless. That's when I realized that people change when it comes to the person they truly love.

"Alexandra, anak?" I look back and see my mom and saw a relief on her face. She must be worried nang mawala ako kung san niya ko pinag-iwanan. Lumapit naman siya kaagad sa amin ni Trixie.

"Mom. Sorry kung umalis ako, but can I just a have a few minutes with my friend?" I said ad I look at Trixie. Nakita ko naman na nakatingin si Trixie kay mama at ngumiti. Ngumiti naman din pabalik si mama at tumango.

"Alright, I'll just wait for you there." Sagot ni mama sabay turo dun sa pwesto kung saan niya ko iniwan kanina. Tumango naman ako at nag-thank you sa kanya.

"Alam mo yung sabi sa favorite kong book that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. Whether it is physical or emotional pain, masasaktan tayo..mararamdaman natin 'to. Pero parati mong isipin na pagkatapos ng sakit, andyan yung paghilom. Pagkatapos ng kalungkutan merong kasiyahan. Yung nararamdaman mo ngayong sakit mawawala din yan at sigurado akong hindi papayag yung mahal mo na hindi ka magiging masaya."

<ANDREW'S POV>

I opened the door as I reached Xandra's unit. I go directly to her room to look for the white box in her cabinet. Her room is very neat and organized just like her. On her work table, there are two picture frames with our photo in it. The one was taken on our first date at Chilli's. I get the other frame and look closely at it. I got surprised when I see our photo at Enchanted Kingdom. How come she had this on her room? That was the day when I rushed her to the hospital at Laguna and after she was transfered to St. John's at Makati, she wasn't able to come here since then. I put back the frame but I notice a note at the back of it.

Last Happy Memory: 12th of October, 2015 Date @ Enchanted Kingdom.

I wish I can look at your face all the time. You are a one beautiful creature! Thank you for enchanting me. The feeling has always been so magical.

I love you. - Alexandra

Tears started to fell from my eyes. I realized how much tears I have shed since I learned about Xandra's illness. Sobrang sakit. But I guess what he feels right now is more painful. Kung kaya ko lang kunin lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman niya, gagawin ko. How I wish she could live longer and create more happy memories. 

 I open her cabinet and saw the white box beside the things I gave to her...mostly stuff toys. It was just a simple box with letters AZ embossed in it.  Even though I'm curious of what's inside, I decided not to look at it and placed it on a paper bag. I have to go back, I know she's waiting for me. 

As I was about to leave, the  noise of a broken glass stopped me. I look back and saw a picture frame on the floor. My heart skipped a beat and as I pick it up, it started to beat fast. It was the picture taken at Enchanted Kingdom. 

My cellphone started ringing. I get it from my pant's pocket. 

Tita Sandra calling... 

I answer my phone nervously, hand shaking.

"Hello Tita?" I utter. 

"Andrew! Si Alexandra!" As I heard that, I immediately ended the call and rush to the hospital. 

Xandra, please..wait for me.