The Infinite White

Chp. 1 - My Mate's Alternative

"Holden wants you to go to his house this afternoon" Cooper leaned over while Mr Ruben went on about some book we're supposed to read. 

"Why doesn't he just tell me himself?" I snapped at Cooper, even though it wasn't his fault, Cooper was the only one that knew about Holden and I being mates. 

"Don't shoot the messenger. He just told me this morning to tell you" he didn't have to tell me I could see it in his eyes, I looked around for Dana, a girl Holden does a lot and she wasn't in class either. Sighing I felt my wolf curl into a ball as she knew her mate was being satisfied by someone else, 

"Personally I don't see why you put up with him. You're one of the hottest girls in school, every guy wants a chance at getting into your pants and yet he only wants to do it sometimes. I would consider myself the luckiest man on earth if I got mated with you"  i 'hmphed' in agreement, not looking at Cooper. 

I knew the way to Holden's house off by heart, I could do it blind folded if that wasn't so dangerous on a main road at the fastest speed my car goes. Slamming on the brakes before I sent the car flying into his front porch, climbing the steps I was greeted by Holden's parents, Alpha Michael, and Luna June, wolf whistled by many of the male weres in the house but I ignored them, climbing the stairs to Holden's studio floor. He sat on the edge of his bed, tracksuit pants on, hair ruffled, and I knew what from, his green eyes met mine and a smile appeared across his face and I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. He gestured for me to come to him and he pulled me onto his lap, his lips moving to my neck, kissing all the right places, my breathing was coming out uneven, as his hand slid under my shirt and moved up my stomach and cupped my breast. With one swift movement, my shirt was gone, and in another movement so was my bra. Picking me up and lying me on my back, his lips found mine as his right hand cupped my breast, before moving down my body to my shorts, quickly undoing them, they were gone and so were my underpants. I was fully naked lying underneath him, not the first time, trailing my hand down his chiseled chest to where his pants started, moving my nails across the top of the band, I felt the chills run down his back.

"Only you can make me feel like this" and he was dam right, no other girl could get this kind of reaction out of him. I felt the bulge in his pants grow bigger and bigger. Yanking his pants off, I lifted my leg for easier access, feeling the heat of his breath on my neck and his hands trailing my body, moving from my thighs to gripping my breasts. He was slow at first, sliding in and out in a smooth rhythm, I arched my hips telling him to go faster, he worked his way faster in and out, his hands doing everything right. I let the wall down and allowed his emotions to flow into mine, my breathing trying to keep up with his movement and pace. Gripping his back, I heard his moans as my nails dug into his skin, my own grew louder and louder until my body started to shake underneath him and it was over. Rolling onto his back Holden lay there breathing heavily and like usual I felt like shit after sleeping with him, but it put my wolf at rest, which was all I needed. 

"I have to go" I said sitting up and swinging my legs off the side of his bed, 

"No you don't" he crawled to my side, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my bare shoulder, 

"Don't get all sentimental on me now Holden" I joked moving out of arms to where my clothes lay scattered on the floor. Slipping on my underwear, 

"I'm allowed to be sentimental with you, you're my mate" obviously he wasn't in a joking mood, 

"Part-time mate" I corrected him and he gave an aggitated sigh. 

"Lily" he had a way of saying my name that made my body ignite at the sound of it and I didn't like having that reaction to him. My wolf curled into a little ball and basked in the heat, she didn't mind one bit being with him even after what he's put us through. Having all my clothes on, I walked up to him, he had slipped his pants back on which I silently thanked him for, leaning down I kissed him, lingering a little bit to long, before pulling away. His hand grabbed mine and stopped me from leaving, 

"Please don't go" his green eyes poured into mine as he made me feel everything he was feeling, I took a deep breath before putting the wall up between us and the hurt in his eyes was heartbreaking. He let go my wrist and let me leave, I met Cooper outside Holden's door and he gave me a look like he pitied me, I could tell he knew what happened, Holden's smell was all over me.

When I got home, I jumped in the shower and scrubbed myself until Holden's scent had disappeared. Thinking about him made my sex burst into flames and I found myself wishing I didn't leave but I know I made the right choice, hadn't I? When did things become so complicated?

"Where'd you go after school?" Amber my sister asked, just waltzing straight into my room to sit on my window seat, looking out at the dark forest behind our house. 

"I went to Holden's place" I said, "I had some stuff to do with Cooper" I told her hoping she didn't sense the little lie. 

"Can I borrow your tight blue dress tomorrow night?" she asked, playing with her red hair that she inherited from mom's side of the family, where as I got dad, tanned skin and dark hair.

"Sure, why?" she smiled,

"Zane, asked me out and he said to wear something fancy" Zane was a senior at our school, he was a wolf in our pack, third most popular guy in school, below Holden and Cooper. I was pretty popular, I wasn't in the slut group that hung out with Holden and Cooper, that consisted of Rain, Georgia, Helena, Brookelyn, Victoria, Zoe, Calla and Trina. But I was one of the hottest girls at school, well so I've been told.

Amber and I stayed up til mid-night finding the perfect outfit for her to wear, talking about kissing boys and swapping secrets, but the one secret I could never tell her stayed hidden, yet it was the one secret I so desperately wished to tell her.