Hayden

Chapter Six

A/N

I listened to a Nickelback playlist while I writing this chapter. Thought it fit pretty well. Enjoy.

It is a bit warmer today; the sun shines brightly in a corner of the sky and nearly blinds me. I sigh as I hop off of the cement steps leading up to my apartment, and pace up and down the sidewalk in front of it, contemplating.

I place my hand over my phone in my pocket, clenching it. I think about giving Jade a ring, but try to think about all of the negative things that could follow behind it.

The slight breeze sends goosebumps up and down my arms, and I wet my lips to keep them from chapping. My eyes begin to dry, and I find myself blinking multiple times, but it does not help.

I press my lips together tightly, then grab my phone out of my pocket and unlock it. I search for the message I received from Jade, then press the call button. My heart pounds as I press the cold screen to my hear and listen to it ring. I can hear the wind through the phone, a loud ruffling sound.

Thirty seconds pass, and the call goes to voicemail. I breathe out loudly and wait for the woman's recorded voice to stop talking so that I can leave a message. A beep finally sounds and butterflies fill my stomach as I try to think of the right thing to say.

"Jade... this is, uh, Hayden. From the bar... you know who I am, I just, I don't know. I'm sorry about last night. And this morning. Um, do you want to meet up? I'm close... Bye."

I hang up, and quickly slide my phone back in its pocket. I pull my wallet from the back and check the amount of money I have, and decide on going to the small coffee shop at the corner for some breakfast.

Cars pass quickly as I make my way down the street, and I wait at the crosswalk for the sign to turn. I watch as numerous people walk back and forth behind me, and soon, my negative vibes return.

Not today, please.

The sign finally changes after an agonizing ten minutes of standing in the cold, and I sprint across the busy street. I shove my hands in my coat pocket and feel the headphones I have long since forgotten about. I pull them out and plug them into my phone, hoping that listening to music will rid of all my distraught feelings.

I pressed play and the first song that came on my playlist was "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback.

Just fucking great. Fits my situation perfectly.

I place my phone back into my pocket and let the song play as I finish the final few yards to Lulu's Coffee & Cafe. My foster mother used to bring me and my foster sisters here when we were little. They have the finest doughnuts in all of Chicago.

I walk into the shop, and smile at the familiar sound of a door bell as the door opens and closes. I look around, and find that it is very busy today, not like usual, but I have not been here in months.

"Hayden, Hi!" Jamie, a former friend and waitress greets me with the widest smile I had never thought was possible.

"Hey." I say, trying to return the happiness. She jogs over to me and wraps her arms around me firmly, making me grunt.

"Oh, my! It's so good to see you!" Jamie cheers. Her deep hazel eyes pierce mine, and I cannot help but glance away for a moment. I remove the headphones from my ears and place them back into my coat pocket. "You got so tall!" she adds and I tilt my head.

"I guess." I chuckle and she examines my posture.

"What have you been up to, Hayden? You haven't stopped by in ages!" Jamie says and I shrug. I sigh and clear my throat, looking around for somewhere empty to sit.

"Just been, you know, around." I manage and Jamie furrows her eyebrows.

"Okay. . ." she says and my heart pounds at her reaction. "well, why don't you sit down? I'll get you some—"

"Uh, hot chocolate, please." I intervene and she nods and smiles.

"Coming right up."

I thank Jamie and watch her walk away, then look for a place to sit. To my surprise, there is an empty booth, and I take the first chance I receive to slide into it and hope that nobody joins me. I grab the small menu from the side of the table, and examine the breakfast choices.

Jamie returns moments later and places a small white glass with steaming brown liquid taking up nearly every inch of it. It smells delicious.

I thank Jamie and order a large powdered doughnut and a plate of hash browns. She writes down my order quickly, then storms off again. I sip from the piping cup and cringe as the chocolate burns my tongue, but tastes amazing. 

Jamie returns moments later, then takes a seat across from me in the booth. She crosses her fingers together and smiles down at the table. 

"You look like you have a lot on your mind." Jamie says, and I nod as I take another sip of my hot chocolate. I don't want to say anything, because I have nothing to say. "You know, when your feelings get all bundled up, they spill over eventually. It's like filling a bucket with water when you know it's full, but you keep letting the water run anyway. You let it run because you think that it can always be fuller. You think there's always more room."

Jamie has always had a way of putting things so that I could understand them. She had a special way of explaining life that made you want to elaborate on every little thing. 

"James, do you ever feel like you're completely alone? Like, people tell you that they're there for you, but when you need them, they're playing 'Where's Waldo?'" Jamie laughs and shakes her head. She tears off a piece of my doughnut and eats it. 

"Unfortunately, we all feel like that sometimes. However, you're always there for yourself. There's never gonna be anyone in the world that will be there for you the way you'll be there for you."

I say nothing, just trying to process her words. I understood them, but I just need to let them sink in. And this gives her more time to speak some more of her wise words. 

"You know, Hayden, I used to tell myself that there's always an alternative to everything, but that's not always the case. Sometimes you just have to pick up your sticks and haul them to your next destination. Sometimes you just don't have a choice. Things happen that you have no control over, but you can take the control that you've been given."

"In terms of another person," I begin, trying to think about where I was going with this. "What are the options when it comes to them?"

"Same as before," Jamie says, taking some more of my doughnut. "You don't have physical control over another person, but you can control what you are to them. You can't pick up their sticks for them, but you can walk them to their next destination, if you so choose."

I take another sip of my chocolate, then swallow and turn my head to look out the window. My eyes widen suddenly, and I cannot believe what I see.

"Fuck."

I quickly stand from the booth I had been sitting in, and run towards the door, leaving my phone on the table along with my wallet and everything.

A/N #2

I think that Nickelback suits this story really well, lol.