Hayden

Chapter Four

***

Fuck it. I can't sleep. I don't want to. 

I kicked my legs and sat up from my plush bed. Staring at the ceiling had become much too boring for my never-ending train of thoughts, and there was only one way to stop it all.

I trudged out of my bedroom and glided my hand against the wall until the found the hallway light switch. I flipped it on and yanked the main closet door open, grabbed my coat, then closed it a little louder than intended. I threw the coat over my shoulders, then walked over to the front door and slipped my boots on. 

I cannot believe I am doing this. I promised myself I wouldn't after what happened the last time. I swallowed hard at the memory and limped to the kitchen to grab my wallet. I opened it and smiled at the sight of neatly folded bills. This would be enough for tonight.

I unlocked my front door and stepped out into the dimly lit hallway. My cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I ignored it while I locked my door, then pulled it out of my pocket and pressed the center button to light up the screen.

Foster Mom. I shook my head and ignored the call, then replaced the phone in my pocket. Why is she texting me this late? I can't talk to her right now. I would feel too guilty and uncomfortable for what I am about to do.

I pushed the main door of the lobby open, waving at one of my neighbors. He had always stood outside his front door for a smoke. I could not manage the smile he could, but he already knows how I am. 

Not everything, though.

"Headed somewhere, Sanders?" Jace asked. 

"Can't sleep." I replied, nervously shoving my hands in my coat pockets.

"Hah, not surprised." he said, flicking elongated ash to the ground. I smirked, then my face returned expressionless. He shook the magazine in his hands, not looking at me. I decided to take that time to leave. I really did not want to talk to him.

The temperature had dropped immensely—the cool breeze caught me by surprise as I stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"Back before curfew." Jace called in a dad-like tone. I shook my head and smiled, though I knew he could not see me. I began walking, staring at nothing but my feet. I should have asked Jace for a cigarette.

The street lights and luminescence from the strip malls guided my attention from the sidewalk to the clear windows. Every store had some kind of weird display, and kids' faces were almost always magnified to them. I walked passed all of them, watching my reflection's pace sync with my body's.

I walked a little faster, turning a corner then crossing a street, and was finally at my destination. I tilted my head up and peered at the radiant street sign ahead of me.

Yare's Drinkin' Spot

I stood there staring at the sign for a few moments before making a final decision. After a few minutes of contemplating, I watched a cute girl stroll through the front door. I smirked and followed after her.

It was hard to believe that girls could like drinking as much as guys, but that is just the sexist part of me. I loved it when a girl could down six shots without gagging or making an eccentric facial expression. 

I knew that I was too young to be buying my own drinks, so I had always persuaded a stranger to do so for me. It worked every time. My social side would only come out when I was drinking or about to drink, but there had always been a catch to it.

"Aye." a man called, startling me. He laughed, then patted my shoulder, and I glared at him nervously. 

I never liked being touched.