Losing Innocence

7. Last Chance

The shubsz. My last chance to tell her. My last chance to find out. My last chance to consider many things before it was too late.

I put my empty glass cup to the side and got up to stretch. The 'head-in-hands' position had become too familiar for me in recent times and I was hoping that after tonight, it would be a foreign situation. This needed to come off my chest; I didnt have an agreement with time so it could pause for me so I had to be fast. I don't know how she'll take it, i don't know what she'll say and I really don't know what I'm going to do. 

Another thing is, it seems like I'm not the only one will revelations; Cammy and Kaylah have been acting.. a little strange. I didn't think much of it before because I was thinking about telling cammy but thinking now? It really seems like somethings up. I mean, why would Cammy go out of the shop crying and why did I get the feeling that  Kaylahs flirty moves weren't all that innocent. 

I sighed.

And why did I feel like the world was crashing on my shoulders and theres nothing I can do about it?

I noticed sometimes Dev was acting weird too. Like I would look uo and he'd be daydreaming staring at me. Or he'd be on the phone the hang up when i come in.

Thank God my older cousin was arriving soon. Hopefully in the next couple of days? I don'tknow but i'd be glad when it happens coz i really need someone to talk to right now. And Temi...

I couldnt put my burden on a 14 year old. That simply wasnt a fair way about it. Bless her, my angel. She has all her little things to worry about like...

Errm like.. Barbie? And fashion and puberty and that shit. I couldn't. Hmmm.

She's just got this thing about her that's so mature. Like she is indestructable. So smart and.. wise. Intelligent and streetsmart.

Serenity. 

Everytime I was with my sister, I got a feeling of serenity; like everything was cool and there wasnt shit to care about. Like everything would work. Like.. like there was no more pain. That was the effect she had. You could come from the worst circumstance but she would give you hope. My joy...

I got out the garms I was planning to wear tonight and laid them on my bed alongside Devontae's. We were going inn. I looked at my Fresh Prince clock that read: 5:45. The shubszzstarted at 7pm and we were taking D's older's ride so it was cool. Call me weird but I ALWAYS eat before going to shubsz, raves, hall parties; It was just a part of me.

"Temi, I beg you make me sumthing to eat" I asked sitting on the sofa and changing the channel.

"Erm first of all, I was watching Jerseylicious and second there's jollof rice on the cooker"

"Ahh I LOVE you child" I exclaimed hugging her.

" Fi mi le!"

I withdrew and screwed. " I swear you want me to be a nice brother  and then I come to hug you and your telling me leave you alone. Kmt watch next time if I even say hello when I see you." Her face went puppy-dog and sad. I laughed "Aite, I'll talk to you. Stop tryna look cute." 

The way her face went straight boy. Ahh. I went into the kitchen and got a spoon. I opened the pot and jheeze, the smell was saying alot. 

" Allow eating from the pot like this is zulu warrior times. My man thinks his name's Kunta Kinte or some shit"

"Dev come taste this food and see if you even wanna pause to get a plate" He laughed and did as I said. " Ahh rassclart. Likkle yout Mimi did this yeah? Woi!" 

We finished eating and went upstairs to get dressed. I wore an exclusive blue and black Raplh Lauren polo with black combats and blue and black air force ones my little sister picked out when she went Las Vegas.