After almost seven years with an emotional roller coaster of a career, I've experienced rejection and failure more than I can count on one hand. I can't tell you exactly how many times I've felt rejection, but I can tell you that none of it hurt as much as it did coming from Ava.
I remember sitting there, feeling sorry for myself. The tour with Ariana Grande had just started, I was getting positive feedback and gaining new fans, everything should have been perfect. I should have been happy.
The key word here was should have.
When I got that pretty little card in the mail, I almost laughed to myself. Some nerve she had I thought. The blue and white flowers bordering the invitation mocked me. Two words: You're invited! Even the explanation point made me sick.
I debated whether I was actually going to go or not. It should have been a simple decision, but what guy wants go sit there and watch the love of his life get married to someone else? Yeah. Thought so.
There was a whole bunch of bullshit regarding RSVP, ordering dinner and describing the "holy union" of Ava and Mateo. I could barely look at it without either laughing or feeling sick.
But I decided I would go.
Why? I don't know.
And that's when I found myself sitting in a pew, all dressed up in a suit and tie for something I didn't even want to witness. My stomach was in knots. I was so nervous, you'd think I was the one getting married. Well, you're not i thought to myself.
The huge doors swung open and in came the Mateo. Just the sight of him was enough to piss me off and fill me with the most jealousy I've ever felt in my life.
He looked nervous, but not nearly as nervous as me, and I wasn't just saying this because I felt the need to one up him. If that were me standing there, I would've been so appreciative that Ava made the decision to spend the rest of her life with me. I would be beyond anxious to skip to the "I do"'s and kiss her so we could be there for each other until death do us part. But that wasn't me up there and I was being completely ridiculous.
Next came the bridal party. Two by two each bridesmaid walked down the isle arm in arm with one of the groomsmen. Finally it came down to the maid of honor and best man. I knew them. One was Rachel, who didn't seem to even bat an eyelash when she saw me and the best man was...
...wait, was that...Johnny?
I started in shock as he made his way down the aisle to stand off to the side of the altar. We made eye contact for a split second. He seemed suprised to see me at first, then shot me an apologetic look.
"Sorry, man.", he mouthed, shrugging. "Nothing I can do."
The day couldn't get any worse. I had been having second thoughts about coming but now those doubts were taking over my mind slowly but surely.
"Here Comes the Bride" started and everything slowed down. I was mad at everyone in the room right now, but the person I failed to be pissed at was myself. After all, this is all your fault, Geoff.
Then I saw Ava. To say she was glowing was an understatement. I couldn't think of any other word to describe her except beautiful. No other word was acturate enough. Her dad walked her down the aisle and they slowly made their way past me without so much of a glance to show that she was acknowledging my existance.
She stood across from Mateo alter alter. If I wasn't going to be able to do it, he better make sure he looks at her like she's the most beautiful woman in the world.
The priest opened his mouth to speak but I blocked it all out. I didn't want to hear Ava say all that "for richer or poorer, in sickness in health" stuff if I couldn't say it back. I was being entirely too selfish right now but I didn't really care.
I finally opened my ears once the priest said, "If anyone objects to this marriage, let them speak now or forever hold their peace..."
Now, I knew this was just tradition. Just an old saying. But I was done holding my peace. Forever is a long time.
But that wasn't my place...
Wait a minute. Who cares? If I loved Ava, I would prove it to her. There was no way I was going to let this happen. There was no way I was going to lose her without a fight.
"Me.", I said, quietly at first. I heard a few whispers. I stood up and heard a collective gasp from everyone, including Ava. Other than that, they were all silent, so I continued. Strangely, I wasn't even nervous. I was confident that Ava would actually listen to me this time. "You can't be serious.", I told her bluntly.
"What?", she asked once she finally found her voice.
I laughed. "Ava, you know what. You invited me to your wedding for what? So I could watch you throw away thirteen years of what we had to watch you marry a guy you've barely known for two years? Yeah, that makes total sense. Because he's definitely been there for you all this time. He took you in when you felt your own parents wouldn't. He's always been willing to do anything for the sake of your happiness since you were seven years old, right?"
Ava stared at me in shock for a good minute along with everyone else.
"Can somebody please get him?", yelled someone from the back.
"Hold on, I'm not done.", I said. Loud enough for the whole room to hear. "Ava, I'm not here to make your life decisions for you, but just think about it. I love you. You and I both know that. You're risking literally everything we've ever had."
"I love him, Geoffrey.", she said finally.
"Ava, just listen to me--"
"You need to go, okay? I love him."
A few of the spectators took it upon themselves to get rid of me. I fought back as a few guys tried to drag me out. "You're not listening to yourself. You're not thinking about this hard enough.", I called.
And do you know what she did?
She looked at me, no expression in her eyes at all, turned back to Mateo and kissed him.
Right in front of me.
~~~
oops. anyways...
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