White Rose: A Hunger Games Continuation

Chapter One

Peeta. The boy with the bread. The boy I pretended to love to survive in the first games. The boy I really began to love. The boy I couldn't live without in District 13, the boy who tried to give his life for me. Where is he? I need him, I want him.

The door opens, and I realize I was screaming the whole time. And now, I have attracted the attention of a mutt. Maybe I did want to die, but not by mutt. Not like Cato. I remember that night with Peeta before he became demented. I remember Cato being eaten alive- until he was dead. The lump of limbless flesh he was when I shot him out of mercy. No, that is not how I want to die. I scream louder for the mutt to go away, telling it how much I hate the capitol and strike out at it as it catches hold of me. When it gets me, I scream for Prim, but realize she is dead and will always be dead. Thrashing around in it's arms and shrieking, the mutt places me down on the bed and hisses. Only then when I stop thrashing do I realize the mutt is actually Peeta and he's not hissing, he's shushing me.

I go quiet instantly, and my body muscles lock. I stare into his blue eyes in shock and I whisper his name. "Peeta" I say ever so softly as I touch him, just to make sure he is there and real. How did he get here? The last time I saw him, he asked me if I loved him, real or not real. I said real, but then I ran away after that... and never saw him again until now.

"Katniss, Katniss it's me. " He breathes, and stands up. I still don't move, there's a part of me that knows he is not fully healed. That deep inside, he is still programmed to kill me. I am afraid. He is a mutt, I know he is. But why am I afraid when I want to die? I should not be scared. "Peeta..." I repeat again. "Why are you here?" He looks at me intently, with concern. Concern is not a mutt emotion. "I heard you screaming for Prim." He says softly. I look at him, and my sister's name triggers something. That night, in 13, when we were in the bunker, bombs penetrating the ground above us. I asked her what the capitol would do to Peeta. "What ever it takes to break you" she whispered, her young face growing old and wise. How right she was. How much they broke me. First with Peeta. Then with Prim. Now they will do it again with Peeta. The best thing is to distance myself. Forget everyone so nothing will hurt me. I can be broken, but invincible.

Swinging my legs off the bed, I stand, wobble slightly, and run out of the room. Then out of the house, out of the Victor's Village. I can hear Peeta. "Katniss! Katniss no! Katniss!"He doesn't understand. We were together again. Happy, even if only in the oblivious feeling I can manage without Prim. Until everything broke apart. Like glass heated, then melded back together only to be shattered. I won't let it happen again. He yells after me and begins to chase me. He will never catch me on his leg of his. He is like those dog mutts, chasing after me, trained to savor the taste of my skin. I scream. He yells in return as I collide with a tree and wither to the floor. He skids over to me, looming over my skinny body. "Katniss?" I give a faint shriek in return. "No Peeta.." I moan, cowering over his dominating figure. He is going to hurt me. "Please Peeta-" His eyes look pained, as if he was trying to communicate with me from just a look. "Katniss. " He whispers, caressing my face. All I can think of is Clove, searching my face to cut up. And Clove is dead to.

I flinch backwards. Tears stream down my face in despair. I miss him- the real him- so much. It pains me. That the kindest boy I ever loved is replaced by a raging fire mutt. Is he? I don't even know anymore. He has gone through a lot of therapy. Maybe he wasn't the patient I was. Maybe he listened. Cared. Maybe, just maybe, he is no longer hijacked. Maybe I could love him again.

But I know I have to let everything go. 

And that includes Peeta.

I push him away from me. "No Peeta" I repeat miserably. I just want to get away. I struggle to my feet and stumble away from him. He watches me go with large blue eyes full of ultimate sadness. I'm sorry Peeta, I think. My feet drag behind me as usual, and I know that I will forever regret leaving him behind. As I have left behind the life of the Mockingjay, the girl on fire, the Katniss Everdeen that Panem supported. I don't know who I am anymore. I am not that strong girl anymore, who would defy the capitol and start a rebellion. I am not that seventeen year old girl who would not give in to the cunning claws of death. No, I would welcome death. I am a suicidal, mentally insane teenager with nothing left to live for but a world where these things happen. Why was there any need for a rebellion? Why would I need to defy the capitol? Why would parents gamble away the lives of their children in submissive silence, not lifting a single finger in objection until some tribute sparks something? Does it take that many lives to realize that these things are wrong This is a cruel world, one I do not want to live in. I have begun to have more sympathy for my mother. Is this what she saw when my father died? That world I view now? Because if she did, I should have not hated her for her depression.