Broken Winged Birds that Cannot Fly

Chapter Eight

"Shut it Everdeen."

A rock hits the metal bars that surround the climbing frame, making us jump in surprise. Anger flares within in me, immediately coming to the conclusion that it must have been one of Gale's team trying to egg us into fighting again. Since I'm closest to the bars, I lean over and peer through. I'm shocked to find Marvel standing at the bottom of the slide. He smiles when he sees me and flicks his fore and index finger up, palm facing our direction. "I come in peace," he says.

"What do you want?" I snap at him.

"I want to talk to you," Marvel tells me. His eyes flicker to Clove who, being her nosey self, has crawled over to have a look at what is going on. "Alone," he adds as an afterthought.

"I don't have anything to say to you," I say.

"But I have plenty to say to you," Marvel bounces back. When he sees how reluctant I am, he sighs and says, "What do I have to do? Get down on one knee and shout, 'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your brunette braid'?"

"Stop being ridiculous," I order. My stomach is clenching, like somehow the baby is reacting to being in the presence of its father. Or maybe I'm just nervous and thinking up irrational conclusions. Whatever the explanation, it's making me uneasy. "Do that and I'll never come down."

"So if I don't, you will?" Marvel asks hopefully.

"No!" I snap angrily.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. When I turn, I see it's Peeta, who is smiling at me encouragingly. "Go," he says. "It won't be that bad."

"I'm not ready to speak to him," I say.

"You won't have to say anything," Peeta reminds me. "Just let him say what he wants to say. It won't be that bad, I promise."

I know he's right. He's somehow always right. I nod and give him a parting kiss, knowing that feeling his lips against mine will give me the courage I need to go. I sigh and crawl across the metal flooring to the hole leading out to the steps. I climb down and join Marvel at the bottom. He grins when he sees me approaching.

"Hi," he says goofily.

"What do you want?" I ask, immediately on guard.

Marvel takes my arm and leads me away from the climbing frame. He stops at the tyre swing on the other side of the park, where nobody will hear him. "We have to talk about that phone call," he says.

"What phone call?" I reply.

"The one about the condoms," Marvel answers.

Oh. That phone call.

"You couldn't expect me not to be worried about why you were calling about such a weird topic," Marvel says. "And the panic evident in your voice when I said I had poked holes in the condoms has been prying on my mind ever since. I'm sorry I was such an idiot, I'm sorry I believed Gale when I know he's full of shit and has no respect for girls. But if something's up I need to know. You can't hide it from me."

I don't say anything. I tuck my chin into my chest and look at my shoes. The fact that he has apologized surprises me, as I would never have taken him for the apologetic type.

"Katniss," Marvel says, "is there something you have to tell me?"

I still don't say anything. I'm a shit liar so he'll see right through me if I say no but I can't say yes either. So I settle with silence.

"Your silence is unsettling me," Marvel says.

"What do you want me to say to you, Marvel?" I ask, irritated.

"I want you to tell me if you're pregnant or not," Marvel answers, giving up on being gentle and going for the blunt option.

"What's it to you if I was?" I snap.

"After that phone call? I'm pretty sure if you were that it would be my baby," Marvel answers. His voice shakes a little, the idea clearly frightening him. "If it was, I'd step up and be a man. I'd ditch the losers I hang out with, I'd quit school, get a job, find some way of funding the child. I won't be a deadbeat like my dad. I won't allow that to happen."

I frown at him. Why does he think I would want to keep the baby? From the sounds of it, he thinks if I'm pregnant that we're going to set up a little family together. That's not how it works. "Marvel," I say as gently as I can manage, "I'm not keeping it."

Marvel's eyes widen as the realization hits him that I am pregnant and it is his. "You're aborting it?!" he exclaims in horror.

"No!" I snap. "And will you keep your damn voice down!"

"Sorry," Marvel whispers.

"No, I'm not aborting it," I say. "But when they're born, they're going up for adoption. You and I aren't going to raise it. We simply can't. We're giving a couple who can't conceive a second chance. If you don't like that then I can't let you be involved in the pregnancy. I don't want you growing an attachment to a baby we're not keeping."

Marvel eyes me suspiciously. "Is Mellark involved?" he asks.

"Of course he is. He's my boyfriend," I answer. "If you can't even handle that then you definitely aren't being involved."

Marvel sighs, clearly not happy with that knowledge, but nods. "Okay," he says. "I understand."

I hesitantly reach out and pat his arm. "It'll be okay," I say, trying to be comforting.

"I kinda had a hunch you were up the duff," Marvel says. "Your tits have gotten bigger and you look kind of fat."

I scowl. "Shut up."

"It true! It's not my fault. Well, it sort of is but you know what I mean," Marvel insists. I roll my eyes but continue to pat his arm. I look down at my chest and frown. Have they gotten bigger? I can't tell. I'll have to ask Peeta later.

"You can't tell anyone," I say firmly. "I don't want anyone to know until I can't hide it anymore."

"You can't help what people notice," Marvel reminds me. "I'm sure a lot of the guys have noticed your chest inflating like a balloon, Gale especially. I doubt they'll jump to the conclusion of pregnancy but, still, it's only a matter of time." His eyes have drifted to my boobs, where they usually seem to rest when he's talking to any girl. Urgh, this perv is the father of my child. "However, I won't tell anyone. You have my word."

"How do I know I do Mr 'I made her cum five times'?!" I demand.

"I don't give people my word very often," Marvel explains. "I may be a pervert and an idiot at times but one thing I promised myself was that I would never end up like my dad. I refuse to be a deadbeat. Even if it means simply helping out until the day we give the baby away then I will do that to the best of my ability. I promise, Katniss."

There's definitely something genuine in his tone of voice. I believe him. "Thank you, Marvel," I say.

"I'll even buy you your maternity bras," Marvel says, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh you're so generous!" I say sarcastically, smacking his arm.

Marvel laugh dies and suddenly he jumps forward, pressing his lips against mine. I jump in shock and immediately smack him, pushing him away by the shoulders. "What the fuck, Marvel?!" I shout.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I took a chance!" Marvel says defensively.

"I'm dating Peeta you fucktard!" I shout.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, really. Don't let that diminish anything I just said. I still like you a lot, Katniss, but I won't force you to like me back if you don't," Marvel says.

"You better fucking not," I reply. "Another move like that and you won't be buying me anything, let alone maternity bras!" I'm not going to let him buy me anything, really, but it's just for effect.

I leave Marvel by the tyre swing and rejoin the group at the climbing frame. I hope that's the only blip Marvel and I have. If it is . . . Maybe things won't turn out as badly as I thought they would.