The Assassin Bureau: Imagines and Preferences

Guard Dog: Shay x Reader

You ducked your head down, hoping no one caught sight of your busted lip or the swelling around your eye. Especially Shay, who was up at the wheel talking with Liam, smile wide upon his face as if there were no troubles that could ever reach him. You'd always admired that about him: his charismatic thrill for life, his constant unwavering optimism.

You clenched your fists and quickened your pace until you were tucked safely behind the doors of the captain's cabin. But you'd been in such a hurry and your anger was still so strong that the door slammed behind you, glass windows clattering from the immense force. Your back stiffened, heart skidding to a stop when you heard Shay's boot clomp down the stairs. He knew something was wrong now and you would have to somehow explain to him what happened.

You couldn't understand it, why you were so hot-tempered, so bloody thirsty. You didn't want to admit it but you had enjoyed the fight. You had enjoyed the surge of adrenaline and the quick, rapidity of a battle. But mostly, you had enjoyed defending Shay.

"Lass?" He slowly opened the door, stepping in and closing it just as cautiously.

You didn't give him the opportunity to look at your wounds. You worked your way across the room, busying yourself with the cluttered items along the tables and shelves. You nearly growled it, nearly allowed your shame to sob out of you, "I'm fine."

Shay gave a soft sigh. "Someone say something to hurt your feelings? You know not to pay any of the men any mind. They're all a superstitious lot of fools." He worked his way around the center table. "Did they call you a name again, is that it?"

"No!" You busied yourself in the corner, making sure Shay didn't catch a glimpse of your busted knuckles. "I said I'm fine. It's done and over with..." You bit your lip, eyes locked onto the worn parchment on the desk in front of you. Shay's ragged handwriting was scratched out onto the letter. It was to the Order, commenting on the mission's progress and an update about you. They didn't trust you. They thought you a hazard.

Shay settled a hand onto your shoulder. "If you're fine then why won't you look at me?" He leaned over a little, trying to peer past the messy curtain of your hair. "I told you already. It's alright if you cry. You know I'd never--"

You turned away from him, ready to move onto a different part of the room but Shay snatched hold of your elbow. He hooked his hand around your chin and forced you to look at him. You watched his expression distort from concern to anger, his glower burning into every scrape and bruise.

His thumb hovered over the deep cut on your lip. "Damn it, lass. You promised me."

You didn't have a valid argument. There weren't any excuses really. Save your anger. You were always angry. Or afraid. And fear tended to draw upon your basic instinct to fight. Shay had rescued you but you still felt like you were back in that hell, an obedient pet serving its master. So when Shay dragged you over to the bed to sit down, you didn't argue with him. You'd grown complacent with being obedient. It was so much easier. And Shay was kind to you. What reason did you have to argue with him?

He opened a drawer nearby and pulled out a small cloth, dipping it in the bowl of water on one of the tables. "What happened this time?"

It wasn't your first brawl and it wouldn't be your last. You glared into your knuckles, split open and bloody, your skin speckled with darkening red. You had swung the first punch but he'd been asking for it, begging for you to break his jaw. If you saw him again and he said the same words, you'd make sure to cut out his tongue.

When you didn't bother answering, Shay shoved a chair in front of you and sat down in it. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Every time you brawl with them it just brings truth to what they're saying."

"They didn't insult me this time." You shoved away his hand, keeping him from dabbing clean your busted lip.

He grabbed your wrist but his grip was loose, giving you the opportunity to pull away from him if you wanted. "Listen to me, lass, whatever it was..."

You stood up sharply. "I don't need your help, Shay."

"No, you don't need it." Shay followed after you but he was always so respectful, always giving you just enough space and just enough time to process his words. He was always patient with you, even when you first met and nearly tried to kill him. Guard Dog. That's what the men began to call you.

Shay took a slow, steady step closer. "I'm still offering it to you either way."

You crossed your arms over your chest and curled your nails into your arms. It was a pathetic attempt to hold yourself together, to keep your emotions from spilling out. You didn't want to fall apart in front of Shay. Especially Shay. He held you in such high regard. He placed you on a pedestal and spoke highly of you in front of so many strangers. You wanted to be as good as he thought you were.

Shay took that moment to move to your side. He settled a soft, almost nonexistent, hand upon your arm. He dabbed the cloth against your lip again, cleaning up the rest of it before moving to the gash below your eye.

"It wasn't about me this time," you finally murmured. "It was about you."

He shook his head a bit. A silly and sloppy grin widened across his expression. "You mean to tell me you started a fight 'cause some sailor was griping about something? I'm a captain, lass. It's bound to happen." His smile slowly faded and his eyes darkened. It dawned upon him the seriousness of the matter. "You're not a guard dog."

"I know that!" You wanted to turn away from him again, to move to the other side of the room but you forced yourself to be still. "I know..."

"I'm trying to help you, lass." He tossed the red stained cloth onto the closest table. "I can't do that if you start brawls with everyone. Liam already thinks you're too dangerous. What do you think he'll do when he finds out about this?"

You tilted your head away from him, shoulders curving inwards. "I know."

"Promise me. This time I want you to mean it." Shay reached out towards you, to hold you, but he halted. He knew how uncomfortable you were with touching. "No more starting brawls."

Your hands shook as you took hold of his lapels. His entire body went rigid as you leaned against him, your head tucked up under his chin. It had been some time since you were hugged and you would certainly never allow anyone else to do it but Shay. His arms slowly, very loosely wrapped around you, giving you any opportunity to pull away.

"We'll be fine," assured Shay, his optimism easily returning.

Your eyes slipped closed. You could have fallen asleep at that moment, stayed there for the rest of time if it were possible. But Shay was needed at the helm. He had missions to attend to. He had obligations to the Order and you'd do everything in your power to make sure they were done. You owed him your life. You owed him everything.